As parents, my partner and I find ourselves approaching the moment when our 9-year-old daughter, Mia, is eager for her own cell phone. While she already owns a tablet with internet capabilities, like many kids today, she yearns for the independence a phone can provide.
When the time comes to add her to our plan, we’ve decided to implement a communal phone agreement. This means that we will have full access at any time, and Mia will sign a contract stating she understands this arrangement. By doing so, she willingly gives up her right to privacy and allows us to have all her passwords for every app and account.
I can imagine some of you are shaking your heads, thinking this is overprotective parenting that could hinder her independence. However, I believe that children need guidance and protection, especially in an age where they are exposed to numerous influences. Mia has many friends, but what she truly needs is parents who help her navigate the complexities of her social world.
Mia enjoys playing Roblox, which she spends a lot of time doing at her mom’s place. It wasn’t until we started hearing more about this game that I felt the need to ask her about it. On a casual car ride home, I asked her for her username and password, masking my inquiry in excitement. “What a thrill! What’s your first username? Something with a unicorn, I bet?” To my surprise, she giggled and revealed it was actually a bear. With no prompting, she shared her password was simply her name with two spaces to meet the character requirement. It’s these innocent moments I cherish, knowing she’s still blissfully unaware that I have the app installed on my phone to keep tabs on her.
Mia is aware of the importance of not accepting friend requests from strangers on Roblox, but in a world where online predators are a real threat, I find comfort in checking her interactions. The introduction of a cellphone will bring its own set of challenges—texting, social media, and the potential risks of exposure to her peers and the wider world.
As a teacher, I have a unique perspective on how tweens and teens interact with technology. Social media has become integral to their identities. They keep tabs on each other through Snapchat maps, communicate in group chats, and often prioritize their online presence over academics. Many kids feel pressured by the number of likes and followers they receive, leading to isolation and bullying, which can occur both online and offline.
During a blind survey in my class, only two out of twenty-eight students reported never being bullied online. Some even admitted to having bullied others. This reality underscores the importance of awareness about not just external threats, like online predators, but also the dangers posed by peers.
Mia’s experiences in school have made me acutely aware of the harsh realities children face. Recently, my stepdaughter confided in me about being called “fat” by peers, which led to one girl ending their friendship over this. It pains me to know that such cruelty only escalates as they transition into middle school. I remind her that much of this behavior stems from insecurities in her classmates, but that reassurance does little to quell the hurt.
If comments made in the classroom can be so damaging, I can only imagine the lasting impact of a hurtful message shared online. We will never dictate who she can be friends with, but we are vigilant in guiding her away from those who do not treat her with respect.
As a parent, I need to ensure that Mia is not only being kind online but also being treated well in return. I want to monitor her interactions to protect her from potential harm. It’s a straightforward responsibility that I take seriously.
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In summary, as our child approaches the age of owning a phone, we are committed to guiding her through this new phase with careful oversight. While the digital world is fraught with challenges, maintaining open communication and monitoring her activity will help ensure her safety.
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