By: Emily Carter
When planning my wedding, my main priority was to ensure that everyone enjoyed themselves. With friends and family traveling from across the country to celebrate in California, I aimed for a relaxed atmosphere. I prided myself on not being a bridezilla; rather, I focused on making the day as comfortable as possible for everyone, especially those in my bridal party.
I even won a contest that allowed my bridesmaids to select their dresses for free from a popular retailer. I didn’t want to add any pressure regarding their attire, so I encouraged them to choose outfits that made them feel good. Different body shapes meant a variety of styles, and I was open to whatever they wanted, from shoes to accessories—everything was their call. The only stipulation was the color I chose.
The wedding itself was beautiful. My friends often reminisce about how special that day was, and I frequently find myself looking through photos, reliving one of the happiest moments of my life. However, while browsing through images recently, I had a shocking realization: my best friend, Sarah, was wearing a dress. While it wasn’t unusual for her to wear a dress occasionally, she had spent nearly a decade avoiding them, favoring pants, slacks, and button-up shirts instead. She has a fantastic sense of style and always looks stunning.
As I flipped through the pictures, I felt a wave of guilt wash over me. It struck me that I hadn’t even thought to ask her if she wanted to wear something other than a dress. How could I have overlooked such an important aspect of her comfort? We had been best friends for almost twenty years, sharing countless memories and secrets. Yet, I hadn’t taken the time to consider her preferences on a day that was supposed to be about everyone’s joy.
The reality is, it wouldn’t have mattered to me if she had chosen pants or a dress. I wasn’t fixated on how my wedding would appear; I simply wanted my loved ones to feel at ease. But that’s not the point. The critical takeaway is that I should have been more aware of my friend’s needs and made sure she felt comfortable in her choice of attire.
This experience brought to light a broader lesson about empathy and understanding. When people claim that they don’t see race, gender, or sexuality, they risk overlooking the individuality of those around them. Despite considering myself open-minded, I realized that I missed a chance to show genuine support for my dear friend. This realization was particularly painful as I know what it feels like to be unseen or unconsidered.
Once I understood my oversight, I reached out to Sarah, even though it was almost five years after the fact. She reassured me that it was alright, emphasizing that her focus was on ensuring I had a magical day. This only deepened my regret because she had indeed gone above and beyond to make my wedding memorable, addressing needs I hadn’t even anticipated. I had a chance to be a true ally and friend, and I let it slip away.
While I cannot change the past, this experience has motivated me to be more thoughtful about the needs of those around me. I want to ensure I don’t make the same mistake again.
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In summary, my wedding day taught me an invaluable lesson about considering the feelings and preferences of those close to us. Moving forward, I aim to be more aware and thoughtful, ensuring that everyone feels seen and appreciated.
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