When you hear the word vacation, what comes to mind? Perhaps you envision the warmth of the sun on soft sand or the thrill of carving through fresh snow. Our recent getaway was all about breathtaking scenery — bison grazing on expansive plains, majestic mountains in the backdrop, and the exhilarating drive along Beartooth Highway with two kids under ten in tow.
By the time we reached the pool that evening, we were absolutely drained, as vacations can often leave you. We were eager to escape the confines of car seats and let loose. However, one particular moment from that day has stayed with me, and it was sparked by something you said.
I have long desired to swim in natural hot springs, and my kids had been itching to dive in since morning. After hours of driving, they weren’t exactly thrilled about the prospect of more time in the car. So we decided to surprise them with a swim in the mountains. I admit, we might have stretched the truth a bit.
“Put on your shoes, kids! We’re going for a quick drive,” I said, knowing it would be met with groans. Eventually, after some coaxing, they were strapped in and ready to go. Honestly, I felt a sense of accomplishment, hiding my swimsuit under my clothes and tucking their swim gear into my bag while they squealed with excitement upon seeing the pool. It felt like a victory in my parenting journey.
The pool wasn’t the picturesque scene I had imagined, but it was perfect for little ones—shallow water and floating toys galore. After a wrestling match to get them into their suits, the kids joyfully splashed around in chemical-free water. My daughter could explore safely without me fretting every few seconds. It was blissful.
Then I spotted you, lounging in the shallow end, seemingly enjoying your solitude as children swam nearby. You smiled at my kids, but instead of feeling at ease, something about you triggered my instincts as a mother. When my daughter chased a pink water ball toward you, I hesitated, wondering if I was being too protective.
My daughter, just three, is vibrant and loves attention. She often sings and pauses for applause. Though sometimes shy, she was too thrilled to be in the water to hold back. I don’t recall her exact reaction when she saw you, but I remember your words clearly: “You have a very flirtatious little girl.”
Those words struck me like a lightning bolt. I wasn’t impolite, but I felt compelled to respond, “She’s not flirtatious. She’s just a little girl,” before turning away. Moments later, you left, and when my husband arrived, I shared what had happened. He, being a fair-minded man, suggested you might not have meant anything by it, while my mother-in-law echoed similar sentiments.
Let’s unpack the term ‘flirtatious.’ It’s defined as “behaving in such a way as to suggest a playful sexual attraction to someone.” A child, at such a tender age, should never be labeled as flirtatious. My daughter is still learning the basics of gender differences and certainly isn’t capable of exhibiting sexual interest.
The whole encounter left me feeling uneasy. While some may see the term as innocent, calling someone else’s child flirtatious sends a harmful message and contributes to the troubling sexualization of young kids.
You, sir, may have simply been an older gentleman enjoying the pool, but your comment has lingered in my mind. It was a wake-up call, reminding me that, unfortunately, some people might view my daughter through a lens I never considered. As mothers, we often push such painful thoughts aside, yet they exist.
Thank you for that moment of clarity, reminding me that children are not flirts—they are just kids.
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In summary, our vacation was filled with beautiful sights and joy, but one man’s comment reminded me of the importance of safeguarding our children from premature labels and perceptions. Kids should be celebrated for their innocence, not subjected to adult notions of flirtation.
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