My son, who is 11, has a penchant for bland, carbohydrate-heavy foods. His diet mainly consists of crackers, pretzels, bread, and occasionally taco shells. He sometimes indulges in cheese and enjoys hash browns and my partner’s potato soup. The only meat he will eat is hotdogs, which I’m not sure can even be classified as real meat.
When it comes to fruits, he has a soft spot for strawberries, but vegetables? That’s a lost cause. He has a steadfast aversion to all of them. Cheese pizza without sauce and candy are his go-to treats. Every day, he heads to school with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich—it’s what he’ll actually eat. It’s also less embarrassing than sending him off with a bag of goldfish crackers and a taco shell, which he has done in the past. He took that for lunch without any complaints, and I never received a note home. A PB&J is certainly better than him skipping meals altogether, which happens if I try to pack him something healthier.
Since he was two, he’s had strong opinions about food. For nine years, my partner and I have tried to introduce veggies and fruits into his diet. Despite our efforts, which sometimes included making it a reward or punishment, he often gags on a couple of bites, crying as if he might throw up right there at the table.
After countless struggles, we’ve decided to let him eat what he chooses, even if that’s not what we would consider nutritious. Now, I know some people will have a lot to say about how to make my child less picky, assuming that I’m neglecting his health. Yes, I’ve heard it all—the dire predictions about his future health if he keeps eating this way.
But here’s the thing: I’m 36, and when I pack my own lunch, I often stick to the same bland carbs. I do eat vegetables occasionally, but mostly I prefer simple carbs, snacking throughout the day without following regular meal patterns. In my twenties, I tried to fight this habit, thinking it was unhealthy. It wasn’t until I turned 30 that I embraced this way of eating, and surprisingly, I lost 25 pounds. My cholesterol and blood pressure improved, and I felt more energetic than I had in years. Who knew that adopting my son’s eating habits would benefit my health?
As parents, we must choose our battles wisely. Sometimes, it’s crucial to recognize that what works for our family might be different from what others expect. If you spot a child with an “unhealthy” lunch, remember there could be many reasons behind it—dietary restrictions, sensory issues, or even financial constraints. You don’t know that child’s story, so it’s best to refrain from passing judgment.
When I was younger, there was a lunch supervisor who forced everyone to drink their milk before going out to play. One child, who was lactose intolerant, suffered daily because he was too scared to speak up.
So, let’s not be that lunch supervisor. And let’s avoid sending home notes criticizing what parents choose to pack for their kids. The judgmental mindset that assumes parents are failing simply because a child is playing on screens or eating a carb-heavy lunch needs to change. Parents should have the freedom to make choices that suit their children, especially when it comes to something as basic as lunch.
Because parenting is rarely straightforward.
In Summary
It is essential for parents to make choices that work best for their families, particularly regarding food. While it’s easy to judge others, remember that there could be many underlying reasons behind a child’s lunch choices.
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