It’s not you, Internet. It’s me—well, actually, it’s definitely you. I’m yearning to disconnect.
Yet somehow, I can’t break free. It’s not the dramatic way you’d see in a movie; it’s more like how you can’t live without coffee, a phone, or even pants. Sure, I could survive without them, but it would be a struggle. The Internet is kind of like that for me.
We’ve shared plenty of enjoyable moments together. Take Pinterest, for instance. I bypass all its social media aspects, focusing solely on revamping old clothes, curating homeschool materials, and crafting bizarre costumes for my children. Facebook and Instagram allow me to stay connected with friends and family, and with just a click, I can dive into topics like parenting, gardening, and homeschooling. I can keep up with the news—though sometimes I wish I didn’t have to.
I feel the weight of current events pressing down on me. Ignoring the Mueller investigation or the border crisis is a privilege I can’t afford. I need to stay informed.
And then there’s social media. I often wish I could just step away, even if just temporarily. But the reality is, you hold my entire life. Facebook and Instagram are archives of my children’s lives, accessible to family and friends who aren’t around to witness those moments firsthand. You keep my precious memories—my everyday happenings, achievements, and challenges—all neatly cataloged.
I have friends who only exist online, and I cherish them. They’re crucial during my high points and provide support during the lows. Unplugging means losing that connection. I can’t let go of people like Mark, Lisa, and Tom, nor can I forsake those from my past—old flames and college buddies. You prevent me from losing touch with those who matter.
You’re also tied to my work life. I rely on email for communication, and most of my colleagues are on Facebook. My professional connections thrive in the digital realm. They help me see my coworkers as individuals, which fosters a sense of community in an otherwise isolated work environment. We might not share drinks or lunches like we used to, but we have group chats and online forums that allow us to collaborate and support each other.
Yet, the Internet isn’t just a source of joy; it also reveals the less pleasant sides of my friends. I was shocked to discover that my beloved mentor from childhood had become a staunch supporter of controversial views. We often find ourselves clashing over memes and articles, leading to strained relationships.
I’ve had to navigate this complex landscape, unfriending and curating my audience based on their preferences. You’ve exposed uncomfortable truths that society often brushes aside.
And let’s not forget the incessant notifications. The constant buzzing and dinging of my devices demand my attention. Each notification pulls me from reality, making it hard to resist checking in.
I’m exhausted. I yearn for a day without the incessant interruptions, to disconnect into glorious silence. Yet, as much as I want to, I know I can’t fully let go.
Even as I contemplate a break, I recognize that I don’t truly want to quit altogether. (After all, I’m publishing this online.) But a pause would be refreshing.
I can still wish for a reprieve from the trolls, the overwhelming negativity, and the relentless noise. I long to unplug, but ultimately, I’m acutely aware of my inability to do so.
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In summary, while I crave a break from the digital world, the connections and resources the Internet provides keep me tethered. The struggle to find balance between engagement and disconnection is real and ongoing.
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