Last weekend, my partner and I marked a decade together with a delightful getaway, leaving our kids with their grandparents for two nights. Leading up to this trip, I took a day off work to focus on myself. Life has been particularly hectic lately, and I felt the need for a mental health break. I indulged in a delicious specialty coffee, treated myself to a pedicure, and enjoyed browsing the aisles of Home Goods. The entire weekend was a dream come true.
Upon returning to work, a colleague asked how my weekend went. When I shared about our trip and my day of solo relaxation, she couldn’t hide her shock. “Where were the kids?” she inquired, and when I replied they were at Grandma’s, her disbelief only deepened. “You left them for two nights?” she pressed, her tone dripping with judgment. I confidently responded, “Absolutely, and it was amazing!”
It was evident we had different views on the necessity of taking time away from our children. But let’s be clear: self-care is essential. It allows me to be a better parent and person overall, and I won’t let anyone’s outdated opinions deter me.
Let’s face it—kids adore spending time at Grandma’s. For my children, I was offering them an exciting adventure. Grandma lets them stay up late, indulge in sweets, and gives them her full attention. I didn’t just leave them unattended; I knew they were safe and happy.
Moreover, if I don’t take care of myself, I can’t be present for anyone else. Every parent deserves a moment to recharge, and prioritizing your mental well-being is crucial. Parenthood should not feel like a life sentence of servitude. We aren’t meant to be by our kids’ sides every second; in fact, I want to teach them how to thrive independently. I trust that they are well cared for while I’m away.
I wasn’t always this self-assured. In the early years of motherhood, I battled severe postpartum anxiety. The thought of leaving my kids felt unbearable, and I was often tormented by the fear that something dreadful would happen if I wasn’t there. It has taken significant time and effort to reach a place where I feel comfortable stepping away.
To those parents who feel they must be glued to their children 24/7 because it’s “what mothers do”—enough already. You aren’t scoring additional parenting points by never stepping away. The same colleague who judged me constantly complains about how overwhelming parenting can be and how she can’t find time for herself.
If that’s the path you choose, that’s your prerogative. But for those of us who recognize the importance of self-care, we shouldn’t be made to feel guilty. Taking time for ourselves doesn’t make us negligent parents; in fact, it enhances our ability to care for others.
Prioritizing self-care is vital. I encourage fellow parents to carve out time for themselves whenever possible. Don’t let anyone convince you that taking a break is selfish. It’s far more challenging to nurture others when you aren’t nurturing yourself.
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In summary, taking time for self-care away from your kids is a fundamental aspect of parenting that should be celebrated rather than judged.
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