I’m not usually one to condone dishonesty; after all, honesty is often considered the best policy. But I have to admit, I’ve been bending the truth a bit—especially when it comes to our pediatrician. I know it sounds terrible, and I wrestled with guilt until I realized I wasn’t alone. In talking to other moms, I discovered that many of us have told a few harmless white lies to our child’s doctor. This led me to reflect on why I felt the need to be less than forthcoming with the very person responsible for our baby’s health.
Armed with the standard nine months of pregnancy prep, I thought I had a solid grasp on infant care. I received an abundance of pamphlets, brochures, and magazines that promised to guide me through this new adventure. I devoured all that information and felt ready to tackle sleep schedules, feeding routines, and more. However, babies have a way of throwing a wrench in even the best-laid plans.
During our first visit, I was bombarded with phrases like, “He should be…” and “He needs to be…” By the end of that appointment, I felt as though I had a detailed instruction manual for our newborn. Yet, I quickly realized that this little one didn’t come with a user guide; he was already here, and figuring out how to care for him was not as straightforward as I had hoped.
Fast forward to the sleep struggles we faced. Despite our best efforts to get our son to sleep in the bassinet beside our bed, he simply wouldn’t do it. I’m talking about a level of sleeplessness that went beyond the typical newborn wakefulness. After a week of frustration, we made the decision to start co-sleeping, which turned out to be a wonderful choice for our family.
Now, let’s get back to the lies.
The first instance came during a check-up.
Doctor: “How is he sleeping?”
Me: “Great! I can’t complain at all.”
Doctor: “Sleeping through the night? On his back?”
Me: “Yep.”
(Sounds good so far!)
Doctor: “Where does he sleep?”
Me: [oh no] “In his bassinet next to the bed.”
Doctor: “Good, good.”
I knew what the pediatrician wanted to hear, so I blurted it out without thinking, feeling like there was a giant “liar” sign flashing above my head. Once the doctor moved on to feeding questions, I was already sweating.
Doctor: “How often is he nursing?”
Me: [this is tricky] “Uh, every hour and a half maybe?”
Doctor: “Okay, mom—you’re spoiling him. He should be eating every 3-4 hours at three months. He’s a snacker.”
Me: “Oh.”
By three months, I had stopped meticulously tracking every feeding and diaper change. We found a rhythm that worked for us, and everyone was happy.
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In summary, while I don’t endorse dishonesty, I recognize that many parents, including myself, feel pressure to present a certain image to our pediatricians. It’s a reminder that parenting is often more about finding what works for your family rather than sticking strictly to the “rules.”
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