I’m genuinely tired of hearing people rave about my husband’s so-called “awesomeness.” Seriously, it’s getting old. Every time I come home, I’m bombarded with tales of how strangers—be they young or old, parents or not, cashiers or random passersby—laud him for simply existing as a father. And let me clarify: he’s not a supermodel or a superhero, even if he shares a resemblance to Jack Black. He doesn’t possess any extraordinary abilities, nor does he have impeccable style or irresistible charm. The truth is, he just manages to leave the house with our three kids.
The tipping point for me happened recently at the grocery store. My husband, Chris, found himself navigating the aisles with three children under eight years old, two of whom were in a cart, as he competently shopped for dinner. This is a daily occurrence in our household. He’s not a babysitter; he’s a dad who cooks while I handle the laundry—yes, I match all his socks. So there he was, chatting with our kids in a normal voice, calming their squabbles, and somehow managing to keep his shopping list in check. Out of nowhere, an elderly woman approached him and said, “You. Are. So. Brave.”
Chris looked puzzled. “Huh?” he responded, likely thinking it was just a regular grocery trip. If I had been in his place, I would have faced judgmental glares for the same behavior. It seems that fathers receive accolades for merely engaging in everyday parenting, while mothers often get the short end of the stick.
Take, for instance, the way Chris interacts with our children. He talks to them as if they’re valuable individuals with opinions, which is how we should treat kids. We discuss juice options, the rising cost of apples, the absurdity of some store prices, and even current events. When I do this, nobody bats an eye, but when Chris does it, he’s showered with compliments. “I love the way you speak to your kids,” people often say. It’s as if there’s an expectation that fathers should be uninvolved, while mothers are just expected to keep everything running smoothly.
On another trip to a family-friendly discount supermarket, Chris was wrangling our boys, two of whom were acting like they were in a toy store frenzy. He was managing their antics while shopping, steering the cart, and avoiding collisions with other shoppers. I’ve stopped frequenting that store due to the stares and snide remarks I’ve received in similar situations. Yet Chris? He gets nothing but smiles and encouragement. “Good job, Dad!” they say, while I’m told I need to take a break with some chocolate and wine.
Let’s be clear: my husband is not special for doing what I do every day. He’s a dad—an excellent one, but just a dad nonetheless. When he handles the kids with composure, it’s as if he’s achieved something monumental. When I do the same, I’m met with disapproval. It’s absurd. If taking the kids to the grocery store is heroic for him, then it should be equally commendable for mothers who navigate places like Target with toddlers in tow. We need to extend grace to mothers and stop treating dads like they’ve done something extraordinary for simply parenting.
So please, stop calling my husband awesome. He’s just a dad, like I’m just a mom. But I might be a pretty darn good one too!
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In summary, fathers should not be overly praised for simply participating in parenting duties that mothers undertake daily. We need to create a more balanced view of parenting responsibilities and acknowledge the efforts of both fathers and mothers equally.
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