Updated: Sep. 20, 2023
As I sit in my makeshift home office, the sounds of chaos are impossible to ignore. No, we’re not hosting a horror film set, and thankfully, nobody is in peril. It’s just my two-year-old, Oliver, wailing because he can’t see me. Days like these make it glaringly obvious why I crave some time away from everyone — especially my family.
Before you jump to conclusions, let me clarify: I lead a fulfilling life. My relationship is solid, I have a job I adore, and Oliver is thriving. However, with baby number two on the way, I find myself increasingly anxious about what lies ahead, and I desperately need a break. Here’s why:
1. Parenting is No Easy Task.
I can almost understand the reason behind Oliver’s dramatic outbursts when he’s not with me. Yet, he’s rarely alone; his dad, Mark, is usually nearby, if not in the same room. I’ve learned that my son’s expectations of me are exponentially higher than anyone else’s. Some days, the pressure is so overwhelming that I wish I could retreat to a soundproof bunker.
Every morning begins with Oliver running through the house, calling out, “Dad?! Where’s Dad?” This routine always makes me chuckle since we both know he rarely seeks out Mark for anything beyond a quick bathroom trip. I’m the one on duty from sunrise to sunset, and it can be draining.
2. Getting Anything Done is a Challenge.
Oliver seems to realize that Mark is at work shortly after his daily “where’s Dad?” inquiry because that’s when the requests start flooding in. It’s usually around this time that I attempt to dive into my work. However, Oliver makes a beeline for me every five to ten minutes, and I find myself repeating, “Mommy’s working.”
His response? “Working.” Yes, sweetheart, Mommy is working. “Okay, Mama, milk?” It’s like my profession vanishes in an instant. This back-and-forth conversation is just the beginning of a long day filled with similar interruptions.
3. My Co-Parent Could Use Some Help.
Even when Mark is home to help share the responsibilities, I still feel like I’m carrying the heavier load. Moments like now, when we’re both present yet I’m still the one managing parenting duties, make it hard not to shoot a glare his way — especially when he casually mentions, “I’m hopping in the shower, keep an ear out for Oliver.”
First off, I’m always keeping an ear out. And Oliver is always listening to me, not that he really comprehends the concept of listening, because he’s always right here. I’m envious; I can hardly recall the last time I had a shower without an icy breeze from the bathroom door or a frantic “Mama?” echoing in my ears. My showers, baths, and even bathroom breaks have morphed into community events. Why is it that Oliver never needs anything when Mark is in the restroom?
In my daydreams, I envision long, uninterrupted showers and peaceful midday naps. I fantasize about a world where I can devour my fries or indulge in a Sonic Blast without hiding. During these moments of imagination, food is served at the right temperature, and I actually have time to rinse the conditioner from my hair. Ironically, these daydreams are often disrupted by Oliver’s playful “Hey Mama!” or a deep “Hey babe.”
Having a bed all to myself feels like a distant memory. I long for the comfort of my pregnancy pillow and a warm blanket without having to share. It’s a guilty pleasure, but I cherish those nights alone during work trips.
I wish I could escape the dogs barking at dawn, demanding to be let outside, as they seem blissfully unaware that some of us enjoy sleeping past 6:30 AM. It would be refreshing to disappear from the neighbors and their unsolicited advice on lawn maintenance. Honestly, there are days I want to escape from my own thoughts, anxieties, and the pressures I feel about these pregnancy pounds. Just one night away from all of it sounds heavenly.
However, I know two things for certain:
- First, I’ve taken breaks from my family before, and I often find myself missing them. I reflect on how much they mean to me and how they fill my life with joy. Their chaos is woven into the fabric of my daily existence.
- Second, the moment I step back inside my home, all of that chaos will resume.
That said, I’ve been a parent long enough to understand that missing them is a risk I’m willing to take. After all, absence does make the heart grow fonder, so if given the chance, I’m outta here — at least for a few hours!
For more insights on navigating family life, check out this excellent resource on female infertility and consider learning about the At-Home Insemination Kit for your own journey. Additionally, explore our post on Cryobaby for more tips.
Summary
In this candid reflection, the author shares the struggles of balancing parenting responsibilities while yearning for personal time. As the arrival of a second child looms, the need for a break becomes more pressing, particularly amid the daily chaos of family life. Despite the challenges, the author recognizes the love and joy their family brings, revealing the complexities of modern parenthood.
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