In light of recent events, including a troubling tweet from a prominent figure, it’s crucial to explore why a young girl, especially aged 15, may choose not to report an attempted sexual assault. I draw from personal experiences to illustrate this daunting reality.
At just three years old, I faced a traumatic incident where I was taken by two older boys and confined in their apartment. The darkness of that experience was so overwhelming that my mind seemed to block it out. When my family found me, instead of comfort, I was met with punishment. My stepfather physically reprimanded me, labeling me “bad” for vanishing. From that moment, I internalized the belief that if something terrible happened, it was my fault.
By the age of eight, while hanging out with friends, a man exposed himself in front of us. I confided in my mother, but we felt powerless as he drove away, leaving us to grapple with our fear. I learned that there are men who can inflict terror on young girls without facing consequences.
At twelve, while walking home from school, I encountered another man who flashed us and began to engage in inappropriate behavior. We were paralyzed with fear, running away, and ultimately taking hours to return home. My mother reported it, but the man was already gone. A family friend suggested I laugh off such incidents, trivializing my fear. I realized then that I had to find ways to cope alone.
When I was thirteen, during a sleepover, I faced a harrowing situation with my friend’s older brother. He attempted to assault me, and though I managed to escape, the aftermath was isolating. My friend and I drifted apart, and I learned that speaking out often leads to losing friends, further silencing victims.
Later that year, a family member’s friend, whom I trusted, assaulted me in a drive-in movie theater. Afterward, he pleaded with me not to tell anyone, revealing how women are often objectified and treated as mere conquests. This incident, along with many others, contributed to a growing realization of my worth being diminished by others’ actions.
The #MeToo movement prompted me to confront these deeply buried memories. I documented over twenty instances of abuse throughout my life, each reinforcing a narrative of vulnerability and shame. Speaking out in the past had only led to more hurt, with perpetrators facing no consequences while I bore the brunt of the fallout.
During my years working with teens in the foster care system, I witnessed many girls silenced by their families after disclosing abuse, often being blamed and ostracized. This cycle perpetuates the question: why would anyone risk reporting when it could lead to losing everything?
Many of my friends chose not to report their assaults, while others who did faced further trauma from a system that often victimizes them again.
This is the harsh reality explaining why a 15-year-old girl might remain silent after an attempted assault.
This reflection is not meant to invoke pity; rather, I stand empowered now. I urge everyone to take action this upcoming November. Many of you may relate to these experiences, and together, we can amplify our voices. Let’s unite against the systemic issues perpetuated by outdated ideologies.
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Summary
Young girls often refrain from reporting sexual assault due to fear of blame, lack of support, and the potential for isolation. Personal experiences illustrate the systemic issues that discourage victims from speaking out. Taking action and supporting one another is vital in breaking this cycle.
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