Women often feel an undercurrent of anger that permeates their daily lives. This anger doesn’t just stem from recent events like high-profile court hearings surrounding sexual assault allegations or the insensitive remarks made by influential figures. It’s about a broader, more entrenched issue: the constant fear of assault that women navigate every day.
Many women may not even recognize the mental and emotional bandwidth they allocate to preventing potential assaults. The precautions they take become second nature, ingrained in their routines. This reality is frustratingly normal and has been passed down through generations. As highlighted in a viral post by Sarah Thompson, a passage from Jackson Katz’s book The Macho Paradox: Why Some Men Hurt Women and How All Men Can Help sheds light on this issue. Katz, a well-known social researcher, has often asked audiences about their daily strategies for avoiding sexual assault, revealing a stark contrast between the responses of men and women.
When Katz poses the question to men, he typically encounters silence followed by nervous laughter. Most men respond with a shrug, often saying, “I don’t think about it.” In contrast, when he asks women, they are quick to share a long list of precautions: keeping keys handy as a weapon, avoiding nighttime jogs, never leaving drinks unattended, using a male voice on their answering machines, and many others. This long list is a testament to how women live their lives — always on guard, always cautious — and yet this should not be accepted as the norm.
I, like many women, constantly exercise caution because it is necessary. I avoid wearing headphones during early morning runs, fearing the dim light. Grocery shopping alone after dark is a daunting task, especially in large stores where parking can feel perilous. I keep a watchful eye on my car from a distance to ensure no one is lurking nearby. The mental effort of staying alert during a run on a trail, while other joggers seem blissfully unaware of the threat, is exhausting. The thought of how much energy I expend simply trying to avoid violence is maddening. If only I could run freely, go to the gym at night, or shop without a second thought, my life could be so much fuller.
This imbalance highlights an unjust reality: while men navigate life with an expectation of safety, women must constantly remain vigilant. Should an assault occur, women face scrutiny and blame, often for simply trying to live their lives. If I were to go for a jog at dawn and fall victim to an attack, I can almost guarantee that the narrative would shift to questioning my choices: “Why was she wearing so little?” “Why didn’t she take more precautions?” These conversations should focus on holding perpetrators accountable, yet too often they fall on the victim.
Until we educate the next generation, this cycle will persist. Teaching boys differently can help ensure that girls have a brighter, safer future.
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In summary, women’s daily lives are often overshadowed by the need to take precautions against assault, highlighting a profound societal issue. The expectation of safety should not be a privilege afforded to only one gender, and it’s imperative that we foster change for future generations.
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