A few Saturdays back, I found myself in Target with my three teenagers, a scene that felt like a gathering of every other shopper in town aiming for Easter candy and dish soap. As we approached the checkout, I noticed a toddler in front of us having an absolute meltdown in the self-checkout line.
Navigating that line is stressful enough as it is. Add a child throwing a fit and banging on the shopping cart with a box of tissues while I’m trying to remember how many apples I have, and it quickly becomes an ordeal.
As we stood there, my youngest turned to me and said, “Mom, I really feel for that dad. He has two kids—one clinging to his leg and the other absolutely desperate to escape—and he’s all alone.” I could relate; I’ve been that parent, solo in a store with three kids who were not having any of it, throwing fits over the most trivial things.
Looking at my teens now, I was relieved to be past those chaotic years. Sure, teenagers come with their own set of challenges, but I’ll take a sulking teen over a public tantrum any day. It was therapeutic to reminisce with my kids about those wild days, fueling laughter as we recalled their younger selves throwing fits over things like not getting a pack of Tic-Tacs.
But then, two older women behind us decided to chime in with their unsolicited parenting advice, claiming their own kids would’ve never acted that way in public. One of them smugly declared, “If they lived under my roof, that would never happen.” Ah, the classic case of armchair parenting.
It’s a familiar narrative we see everywhere—those judgmental comments on parenting that seem to pop up on social media like weeds. “If those were my kids, I’d set them straight,” they say. “If they were my kids, they’d know better.” Really? It sounds like some folks think their children are perfectly programmed little robots, immune to all emotions and struggles.
When you judge a parent based on a few moments in a public place, you have no clue what led to that moment. Maybe that child didn’t sleep well because of a sibling’s cough. They could be teething, feeling uncomfortable in their clothes, or simply hungry. What if they have an undisclosed disability?
I once witnessed a family in a fast-food restaurant where a toddler was having a complete meltdown. People rolled their eyes as the parents carried him out to the car to help him calm down. Later, when they returned, I learned they were on a long road trip, and the poor kid hadn’t had a bowel movement in four days! If I hadn’t gone for that long, I’d probably be throwing a fit too.
So, here’s a thought: when you see a child acting out in public, do everyone a favor and keep your comments to yourself. Good for you if you think you could handle it better or if your kids have never acted out. But your judgmental remarks—whether whispered or posted online—don’t help anyone and only serve to bring down the parent already struggling with their child.
Remember, kids are not just mini-adults. Honestly, I see more public displays of rudeness and bad behavior from grown-ups than from kids these days. Just imagine if we held adults to the same standard of behavior we expect from children.
In conclusion, it’s vital to recognize that every child and situation is unique. Instead of judging, offer a little compassion. After all, parenting is hard enough without adding judgment from strangers.
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Summary
Navigating parenting is challenging, and public judgment from others only adds to the stress. Everyone has their struggles, and compassion goes much further than criticism. Remember, each child is different and their behavior can be influenced by countless unseen factors.
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