You know, it’s tough thinking about how innocent our little ones are. My heart aches just a bit when I see how sweetly and deeply my son loves. About a year ago, he woke up one Monday morning with a baby sister in the room next door. A sister he had known for nearly 14 months, someone whose name he had learned long before that. She was the one who often grabbed the spotlight, the one who sometimes wanted to play with his favorite toys, and the one who filled my arms a lot of the time. They shared morning giggles over breakfast, read his favorite stories together, and even made silly sounds while I rocked him in his chair. He loved her with the purest big brother heart imaginable.
Then, one night, everything changed. He went to bed alone, her room empty, and all we could do was explain that her heart had grown too tired and that she had found a new home in heaven. We told him that she was happy there and that although we missed her, heaven was the best place to be. But those were just words to him; he was only three years old. One moment he had a sister, and the next, she was gone.
It’s astonishing how innocent he still remains despite everything life has thrown at him. As adults, we can understand the complexities, but he’s just a child full of love. I often write about how proud I am of my daughter, but I feel the same for my son, Max.
There’s a lot of uncertainty and guilt that comes with parenting a child whose sibling is critically ill. We missed Max’s third birthday because we were in California for my daughter’s first surgery, and we had to send him to his grandparents during her second surgery. There were weeks I couldn’t be there for him because I was focused on his sister’s health.
He’s seen me cry more times than most kids ever should, and while we’re working through what all of this means, he’s still so young. He didn’t choose to be a part of this family journey filled with ups and downs, but he is. He didn’t ask for his childhood to be filled with confusion and sadness, yet here we are.
One day he had a sister, and the next day she was gone. He didn’t ask for this pain, but he also didn’t ask to be part of a miracle that comes with love that grows deeper every day. I believe we’re learning to love him better through it all, and he still loves his sister and God. Each day, we’re thankful for him, and I strive to celebrate this incredible love we share.
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In summary, navigating the heartache of losing a sibling is incredibly challenging for a child. Yet, amidst the sadness, the love remains. We can still cherish those memories while also nurturing the innocent love our children have for one another and for us.
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