As spring approaches, the air fills with the anticipation of change. If you’re a parent of a high school senior, you can feel it—those longer days and warmer breezes signal that the time for goodbyes is fast approaching. Your child, now practically an adult at 18, is eager to leave the nest you’ve nurtured for nearly two decades.
I’d like to share some heartfelt advice. Feel free to take it or leave it—just consider it. You’re merely months away from a day when your child, the one who drives you to distraction with their rebellious spirit, will be moving out for real. Yes, you heard that right: moving out, as in no more daily face-to-face interactions.
The pride swelling in your heart for their achievements is about to be tested in ways you never anticipated. It’s time to step up, to be the supportive parent they need as they embark on this new adventure. I’ve walked this path, celebrated their successes, and then sobbed all the way home while my partner asked if I was alright. Spoiler alert: I wasn’t.
The truth is, life will change forever the moment they drive away. The “normal” you’ve known will shift, and while that’s incredibly sad, it’s also a natural part of life. So, let’s prepare for this transition and tackle it like pros.
Here are five essential tips to help you survive your child’s departure to college:
- Assist with Packing, But Don’t Overdo It.
It may seem straightforward, but you’ll be surprised at what they might overlook. Set aside time to review the college packing list together, hitting up stores like Bed, Bath & Beyond for all the dorm essentials. New towels? Absolutely! They’ll help ease your mind knowing your child will have clean ones in a less-than-hygienic dorm environment. Fold them together, allow yourself a few tears—because honestly, you won’t have to hunt down soggy towels on their bedroom floor anymore. Celebrate that little victory. - Embrace Lists.
Universities are all about checklists—packing lists, bathroom supplies, approved appliances. Seriously, my friend’s kid at UC Berkeley had a list for eco-friendly appliances! Follow these lists and check everything off; it will give you a sense of accomplishment and help you feel more prepared. - Discuss Finances Openly.
If only one conversation about budgeting would suffice, right? Unfortunately, even my 20-year-old requires frequent reminders about managing money. This is crucial as you’re raising an independent adult. Talk about budgeting regularly and make it a normal part of your conversations. Life is costly, and even the most sensible kids occasionally splurge on those striped overalls for game day. Teach them to prioritize experiences while also being frugal. If those $40 overalls bring joy, maybe skip takeout this week to make it work. - Be Their Parent, Not Their Buddy.
This is a tough one, but necessary. Your love for them runs deep, and while it’s tempting to be the cool parent, your job is to guide them. Don’t hesitate to say “no” or call them out when needed. College is their job for the next four years, and they need you to be their mentor. Schedule regular check-ins to discuss their progress. It’s not about being liked; it’s about raising a responsible adult. - Say a Heartfelt Goodbye.
A friend once described walking away as feeling like they left a limb behind—an intense, physical ache. Prepare yourself for that emotional punch. As you say goodbye, look them in the eyes, reassure them that they’ll be fine, and walk away with a brave face. They’ll need to see you’re okay, so muster a smile and share your pride before making your exit. I remember holding my breath the entire walk to my car after dropping my daughter off. It’s all about survival mode now.
Your new reality is just around the corner, and you’ll soon be reunited during the holidays. You’ve invested 18 years in nurturing them, and now it’s time to see how they flourish on their own.
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