Parenting
I’m not here to shame my pre-motherhood self, but I was once all about the big “O.” Yes, you know what I mean — that thrilling, sheet-grasping, scream-into-the-pillow ORGASM. I loved sex. Child-free, vibrant, and always ready for a one-night stand if the right person came along, it was purely for my own pleasure. Ironically, my husband was intended to be just that — a fleeting fling. Fast forward six years and five kids later, and we haven’t spent a single day apart since our first encounter.
You might be surprised that we’re still together, but honestly, you shouldn’t be. My husband understands that human impulses exist for everyone, and he knows women experience the same sexual desires as men. There’s no distinction between a man having a one-night stand and a woman doing the same. Yet, women often face stigma while men are celebrated. It’s time we change that narrative in the 21st century.
One-night stands aren’t about a lack of self-control; they’re about two consenting adults enjoying each other’s company without worrying about societal labels. A man who respects a woman won’t judge her for choosing to “give it up” after a first date. Anyone who makes a woman feel bad after consensual sex isn’t worthy of the title “man” — he’s just a scoundrel treating another human as if they were property.
And let’s talk about what “giving it up” even means. That term is not only offensive; it misrepresents my sexuality. Women’s bodies shouldn’t be referred to as “the goods.” Such phrases are far too passive and make it seem as if I’m carting around a sack of sugar.
It’s time to put an end to the slut-shaming of women who are simply embracing their human desires. Consensual one-night stands are no one else’s business. Let’s stop the judgments and the excuses for our adult choices. There’s no need for convoluted reasoning or gossip; sometimes things are just as they appear.
For instance, let’s retire the notion of “daddy issues” as an explanation for women’s sexual behavior. How tacky and naive does that sound? I don’t think of my father when I’m about to get intimate. EWW. It’s time we stop projecting such stereotypes onto women who wish to explore their desires without shame.
Also, let’s dispel the myth that women who engage in casual, safe sex don’t respect themselves. We have sexual urges too, and we refuse to suppress them as we’ve been conditioned to for far too long. We enjoy sex and want to embrace it.
Here’s a wake-up call: we’re not fragile porcelain dolls. Sometimes, we simply don’t want to wait. What are we waiting for? Many of us seek nothing more than to fulfill our urges, and that’s perfectly okay.
Throughout history, women have fought against tragedy, oppression, and discrimination — battles we still see today. So please, stop imposing your misguided judgments on us as we strive to live our lives fully. The modern woman isn’t bound to a timid or reserved existence; we’ve overcome that era and are ready to embrace our desires on our own terms.
If we truly value equality between the sexes, we must extend that to every aspect of life, including our sexual experiences. Even if my one-night stand with my husband hadn’t blossomed into a lasting relationship, it wouldn’t have been wrong.
I’ve had other brief encounters throughout my life, and I hold no regret or shame about them. My husband knows about my past, and he’s never made me feel bad for living my life as a single woman, exploring my sexuality. And there’s nothing wrong with that. So, truly, you shouldn’t worry about me.
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Summary
This piece reflects on the author’s past experiences with one-night stands, emphasizing the importance of embracing sexuality without shame. It challenges societal norms that stigmatize women for their sexual choices and advocates for equality in all aspects of life, including sexual freedom.
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