When I received my credit card statement last summer, I felt a wave of dread wash over me. The total was staggering—far beyond what I normally anticipated—and my stomach dropped as I stared at the daunting number. Seriously? Who enjoys dealing with bills, finances, and the weight of adulting? The exaggerated sigh I let out as I tossed the statement onto my desk was only a touch overdramatic, I promise.
No, I hadn’t treated myself to a luxury shopping spree or booked a lavish vacation—if only! Instead, I had racked up a hefty bill after paying for two months of summer camp for my kids, who apparently can’t be trusted to entertain themselves during school breaks.
As a devoted parent, I make arrangements for childcare rather than leaving my children to fend for themselves during holidays. In my area, summer camps can cost around $225 a week per child (not including extended care). Since summer break lasts about eight weeks and my partner and I took two weeks off, that leaves six weeks of paid childcare to secure each year, ensuring a safe and positive experience for our kids. No big deal, right?
Last summer, I invested time researching options, gathering recommendations from friends and fellow moms, creating a plan, and ultimately shelling out thousands in camp fees. Bring on summer!
(Side note: In a developed society, why don’t we have more affordable childcare options? And why is school out for two whole months?)
Defending My Value Beyond the Home
I’m a mother and a working professional. My partner is in the same boat. Yet, despite our shared responsibilities, many people still see a disparity. In their eyes, my role is often viewed as a “choice” to work, while my partner is simply seen as having a job.
As a feminist, I’m not surprised by this reality. It’s a familiar struggle. I know that I will be perceived first as a mother and second as a professional, while my partner is regarded as the primary breadwinner. My work is seen as a “nice touch,” while he gets praised for doing basic parenting tasks (look at him being all helpful!).
When a child has a day off or is sick, it’s assumed I’ll be the one to stay home while my partner heads to work. In reality, we share those responsibilities—though he often gets treated like a saint for his contributions.
Then, during a conversation about summer camp expenses, a family member asked me, “Is it even worth it for you to work?” I was caught off guard. I soon heard the same question from various friends and relatives. Each time, I brushed it off with a quick response to end the discussion. But the underlying message lingered:
“Is my role as a working mother truly valued?”
On what level do you mean? Financially? Yes, my income covers childcare costs and contributes to our household expenses—just as my partner’s salary does. We even fall within the same income bracket. So why does he get the assumption of worthiness while I have to prove mine?
Emotionally? That’s a tricky one because mom guilt is real. I adore my children and miss them when we’re apart. But I’m still their mom. I make breakfast, cheer them on, mediate sibling squabbles, and comfort them during nightmares. My partner does all of this too. We share the parenting load, and we love our kids while also finding joy in our careers. Financial stability matters.
And what about my career? It was established before I became a mother and will continue even after they grow up. I’m passionate about what I do and can’t imagine leaving it behind altogether. That doesn’t diminish the incredible work stay-at-home parents do, just as working parents face their own unique challenges.
So, is it worth it for me to work? Absolutely. It’s what I want and what my family needs. Like every person, I have aspirations, dreams for my children, and ambitions for myself. These goals aren’t mutually exclusive. The only real issue is that while I defend my choices, my partner simply lives his life.
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In summary, the question of whether it’s worth it for me to work is not just about finances; it encompasses my identity as a mother and a professional. Each family’s situation is unique, but the need to validate our choices shouldn’t depend on outdated perceptions of gender roles.
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