The first time I grappled with anxiety, I was in high school. A group of my friends had gathered for a sleepover at Emily’s house. As midnight approached, we were sprawled on the floor, filled with strawberry Pop-Tarts and giggles about our latest online chat with a classmate. Just when the fun was at its peak, someone suggested a late-night drive. Emily, the designated driver, grabbed her mom’s minivan keys, and excitement buzzed in the air.
But as my friends cheered and slipped on their shoes, I felt a familiar wave of panic wash over me. Our town had a strict midnight curfew for teens. What if we got pulled over? What if my parents learned I’d broken the rules? My mind spiraled through scenarios: a flat tire on a deserted road or, worse, a car accident. When I voiced my concerns, one friend shrugged it off, saying, “Chill out!” and left with the rest. I remained behind, tears streaming down my face.
At that time, I didn’t recognize the chronic stomachaches and racing heartbeats as signs of anxiety. Instead, I internalized the labels others placed on me: a Nervous Nelly, a Goody-Goody, a stick-in-the-mud. I lost count of how many times I was told to “take a chill pill.” The thing is, managing mental illness isn’t as simple as flipping a switch.
Over time, I learned that expressing my anxieties often led to feeling isolated. It seemed safer to bury my worries deep down. Others around me, who were aware of my good fortune—a loving family, academic success, a stable home—implied that I shouldn’t feel this way. “Look at how well you have it,” they’d say, as if my struggles were invalidated by my circumstances.
But here’s the reality: depression and anxiety don’t discriminate. They can affect anyone, regardless of their life situation. Factors like genetics, brain chemistry, and trauma can play significant roles in who develops mental health issues. These conditions are relentless, akin to a toddler in a toy store, demanding attention and refusing to take no for an answer.
Many women grapple with anxiety and depression, often at higher rates than men. Hormonal changes due to PMS, pregnancy, and menopause, along with work stress and trauma, can all contribute to these challenges. It wasn’t until my thirties that I received a formal diagnosis for my anxiety. After extensive research and confiding in trusted friends, I finally approached my doctor.
I explored various treatment options. Some women find relief with medication, while others prefer supplements or therapies like cognitive behavioral therapy. I discovered that exercise and mindfulness practices could also be beneficial. Sharing my diagnosis with others fostered a sense of community. As I opened up, many friends revealed their own battles, creating an environment of support.
However, my anxiety didn’t vanish just because I acknowledged it. I often received unsolicited advice, like “Why don’t you just toughen up?” or “Just be grateful for what you have.” If it were as easy as that, I would have done it long ago. Instead, I decided to embrace my anxiety as part of my identity.
With influential figures like Lady Gaga and Taraji P. Henson speaking out about their mental health experiences, I hope society will shift toward empathy and understanding rather than judgment. It’s high time we prioritize mental well-being and dismiss the naysayers.
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In summary, we must break the stigma surrounding mental health. Depression and anxiety are complex and do not simply vanish because one’s life appears “good” from the outside. Embracing our struggles and supporting one another is the path forward.

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