From the moment my youngest son gained the dexterity to maneuver his fingers into his mouth, he developed a habit of sucking them. Prior to that, he would suck on his hand, leaving it dry and cracked, indicating just how significant this was for him. I had never seen a child struggle so hard to find his fingers, often getting frustrated when he couldn’t.
Initially, he would suck on three fingers at once, and I couldn’t help but feel relieved. It was a quick fix for calming him down, especially with two other toddlers to manage. Whether he was upset or just needed to find his center, it was his go-to comfort method. This was particularly convenient since I had dealt with two older kids who were attached to their pacifiers; I no longer had to worry about misplaced pacifiers causing meltdowns. The fact that my little one could self-soothe and drift off to sleep with his fingers was a true blessing.
I thought he would naturally grow out of it by the time he reached four or five, but that didn’t happen. When he started kindergarten, his teacher reassured me that he didn’t suck his fingers at school. However, as soon as he got into the car after a long day, those fingers went right back into his mouth, staying there except when eating or talking. Sometimes, he even attempted to do both!
As the years rolled by, my anxiety began to fade. When he was six, I consulted his pediatrician, who explained that finger-sucking was common for his age and nothing to worry about. A year later, however, there was no sign of him reducing the habit, and he showed no concern about being seen with his fingers in his mouth in public.
By the time he turned eight and shot up a few inches, I became increasingly worried. It was hard to reconcile how old he looked while still sucking those fingers. I attempted every trick in the book—bribes, treats, you name it—none of which worked. Frustrated, I approached the pediatrician again. He was nearing nine, and I felt it was too late to still be sucking fingers.
“Have reminders or treats helped at all?” she asked as I sat in her office, while he entertained himself outside. “Nope, nothing’s working,” I replied. “Then stop,” she advised. “Constantly discussing it may create anxiety for him. He will eventually stop on his own, and it will be fine. Just let it go.”
That was much easier said than done. Friends and family frequently questioned why he still sucked his fingers, offering unsolicited advice like dipping his fingers in something unpleasant—ridiculous, considering he was old enough to wash it off. Some even suggested he wasn’t “normal” and needed to be punished to get him to stop.
I reflected on my own childhood when a dentist had scolded me for sucking my fingers. I was terrified of going back, and that fear led me to stop, only to develop a nail-biting habit that lasted years. When my son turned ten, he still sucked his fingers as if they were candy. I didn’t want to be the cruel dentist; I trusted my pediatrician, who remained calm and supportive. Ultimately, I realized my concern stemmed more from societal norms rather than any real harm to his health.
If you find yourself worrying about a child who sucks their thumb or fingers, consider consulting a trusted orthodontist or dentist. Extended finger-sucking can sometimes lead to dental issues, but my main concern was whether it was affecting his self-esteem or anxiety.
Then, one day, it simply stopped. My son decided he no longer wanted to suck his fingers. After a decade of this habit, I had worried that I had failed him somehow—maybe I hadn’t given him enough attention or cuddles as an infant. But I was mistaken. His teeth and mouth are in good shape, and while he may need braces later, for now, everything looks fine. His older siblings also needed braces, and they outgrew their pacifiers by age three.
My son can still fall asleep independently and, so far, doesn’t exhibit any addictive behaviors. He’s thriving and well-adjusted, proving that prolonged thumb-sucking is not as uncommon as one might think. Other parents have shared similar stories, with some children who sucked their fingers into adolescence or adulthood without any dental issues.
So, if you’re fretting about a child who still hasn’t kicked the finger-sucking habit, take a deep breath. They will stop when they’re ready, and ultimately, everything will be alright.
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Summary:
My youngest son developed a habit of finger-sucking early on, which persisted until he turned ten. Initially a source of comfort and self-soothing, this habit prompted concern from others but ultimately proved harmless. After consulting a pediatrician and letting go of my worries, he eventually stopped on his own. This experience highlights the importance of patience and understanding in parenting, especially when it comes to habits that may seem concerning at first.
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