When reflecting on my birthing experiences, aside from having an unexpected C-section when I had hoped for a natural delivery, my second and third births were nearly perfect. I have an amazing OBGYN whom I would gladly award a metaphorical gold medal. Yet, let’s be real: the true impact on your birthing journey often comes from the labor and delivery nurses. The exceptional ones hold a special place in my heart, while the not-so-great ones leave a sour taste that lingers.
There was Ava, who gently comforted me during my spinal tap and proudly presented my daughter to my husband, exclaiming, “She’s beautiful!” Then, there was Lucy, who lovingly crocheted a Minnie Mouse hat for my newborn and created a scrapbook page for our family memories. And I can’t forget those night nurses (forgive me for forgetting their names) who never made me feel guilty about the blood that splattered on their pristine, white shoes. Lastly, there was Jenna, the lively one who playfully teased me for pressing the call button too often.
These wonderful nurses made my hospital stay a joyful experience, and I’ll forever cherish their kindness during such a vulnerable time. However, like every good story, there’s a contrasting tale.
Let’s call her Rebecca. She was anything but reassuring during my spinal tap, and her demeanor didn’t improve during my C-section. My twins were born at 35 weeks, with my son arriving seemingly healthy, while my daughter was whisked away to the NICU due to a low Apgar score caused, in part, by inhaling amniotic fluid. Post-op, as I engaged in skin-to-skin contact with my son, he began to shiver uncontrollably, despite being wrapped in a heated blanket. I uncovered him briefly and noticed his lips and fingers turning an alarming bluish-purple.
I immediately inquired about this with Rebecca, but she offered only a cursory glance before returning her attention to her computer screen. Trusting my instincts, I insisted that a neonatal doctor be called back to assess my son. When the specialist arrived, my son’s oxygen levels were alarmingly low, and he was quickly taken to the NICU to join his sister.
Adding to the stress, my spinal tap began to wear off, and I asked Rebecca if my discomfort was expected after delivering multiples or if it warranted notifying a doctor. She snapped back, “No. I’ve had three C-sections. You’re supposed to be in pain.” Sigh Honestly, did I ask for your life story? Not at all.
I wish I could say I stood up for myself and demanded a different nurse right then and there, but I didn’t even know that was an option. I was afraid of how the new staff might treat me after hearing my complaints about Rebecca.
Eventually, I was encouraged to stand and try walking to the bathroom to aid my recovery. As someone who doesn’t easily give up, I agreed despite the pain. Just as I prepared to stand, Rebecca gingerly took my hand as if she were assisting royalty, not helping me, a post-op patient, navigate a bathroom trip.
“You’ve got me?” I asked.
“Yep,” she replied.
And then, CRASH! I fell to the floor. She was supposed to care for me during her shift, yet she failed in several critical ways: she didn’t comfort my fears, neglected my son’s wellbeing, and didn’t report my fall, which could have led to serious injury if not for a rogue hospital pillow breaking my fall. She provided no physical, emotional, or mental support and dismissed my concerns.
I should have been more assertive. I should have demanded a different labor and delivery nurse. But honestly, I didn’t realize that was an option. Now, I know better, and hopefully, you do too. Whether you have a C-section or a vaginal birth, it’s crucial to advocate for yourself and ensure you and your baby receive the best care possible.
If you’re not happy with your labor and delivery nurse, don’t hesitate to ask for a different one. Speak up to your OB/GYN or the charge nurse—make your voice heard! Don’t settle for a Rebecca; seek out a Lucy, Ava, or Jenna instead.
For additional insights on pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource on fertility. And if you’re considering at-home options, you might want to explore our posts about the at-home insemination kit and the Cryobaby.
In summary, it’s essential to know your rights during labor and delivery. Don’t hesitate to ask for the care you deserve because your experience matters.
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