Trigger Warning: Anorexia, Eating Disorders
As the leaves started to change color last fall, I found myself limiting my meals to just one a day. It seemed simpler—just a cup of coffee for breakfast, maybe a Red Bull or another coffee by mid-afternoon, followed by a light dinner. The weight began to drop rapidly, and surprisingly, I enjoyed it. This was when I began to spiral into anorexia.
For me, this meant going days without eating. It involved hiding my eating habits, avoiding social situations that might require me to eat, and substituting meals with coffee. When my partner was away for six days, I managed to eat just three times, feeling a twisted sense of pride in that achievement. It was easier than the low-carb diet I had tried, easier than sweating on an exercise bike. The solution was simple: just don’t eat. And when I did eat, I made sure it was the least caloric option available. If anyone asked, I could simply label it as “intermittent fasting.”
In six months, I dropped ten sizes.
Initially, I was classified as obese, but now I’m considered a “healthy weight.” People don’t see me as a recovering anorexic struggling to eat like everyone else; instead, they say things like, “Wow, you look amazing! Congratulations on the weight loss!” Their compliments made me feel validated, but they also perpetuated a harmful mindset. This is why it’s crucial to refrain from commenting on someone’s weight—ever. Unless the individual brings it up, steer clear of this topic completely.
First and foremost, such comments imply that weight loss is inherently positive, suggesting that thinner bodies are superior. This belief is one I have wrestled with daily, and it was one of the driving forces behind my eating habits. It’s damaging not only to those with eating disorders but also to every woman grappling with her self-image.
When someone compliments me on my weight loss, it subtly conveys that women in larger bodies are somehow less worthy or attractive. I used to believe that about myself.
Those compliments felt good, like a boost of encouragement for my starvation diet. Many individuals who struggle with anorexia often experience body dysmorphia, making it difficult to accurately perceive their own physical state. So, when someone pointed out that I looked smaller, it felt like validation. It was a way of saying, “Hey, that not-eating thing you’re doing? It’s working—keep it up.” It inadvertently encouraged my destructive behaviors.
Yet, beneath the surface, I knew something wasn’t right. I yearned for someone to notice my struggle and tell me, “I think you need help.” Instead, people praised my efforts. I felt isolated and misunderstood. While I appreciated the compliments, another part of me wanted to scream, “Do you realize what I went through to achieve this? Do you care?”
These interactions revealed a harsh reality: many of my friends, especially the men, didn’t truly believe in body positivity. They equated thinness with beauty, reinforcing my fears. My partner may insist I’m beautiful at any size, but the affirmations from male friends about my weight loss underscored a troubling truth.
This realization instilled fear in me about gaining weight. I imagined their judgments: “Look at her; she’s gained weight,” or “She must have let herself go.” The pressure to maintain my weight, or even lose more, became overwhelming, making the prospect of eating feel guilt-ridden. I found myself distressed over what I consumed, even if it was just a handful of crackers.
The phrase “Congratulations on your weight loss” carries unintended implications. It translates to: “Good job, you look better now,” and “You’ve valued a thin body more than others.” It implies the need to maintain that weight or risk being perceived as having let oneself go. It reveals a lack of understanding about body positivity and the ongoing struggles many face.
In conclusion, it’s essential to recognize the complexities surrounding weight, body image, and the impact of our words. Rather than offering compliments based on appearance, let’s focus on fostering an environment of support and understanding.
For more insights into reproductive health and family planning, you might find this post about at-home insemination kits helpful here. For comprehensive information on pregnancy and home insemination, check out the CDC’s excellent resource here.
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