As a mother of both a son and a daughter, I have countless teachings I wish to impart to them. These lessons transcend gender—values like hard work, kindness, and the importance of standing up for oneself. However, due to the ongoing struggle for gender equality, there are specific lessons that I believe are particularly crucial for my son to embrace as he grows up. The idea that he could become an entitled, dependent adult who relies on others for basic tasks is simply unacceptable to me.
Here are the five vital lessons my son must grasp before stepping into the world as an adult:
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Own Your Mess
It’s astonishing how some individuals expect others to clean up after them, a notion that should be as outdated as it is unacceptable. My son will learn that if he makes a mess, he cleans it up—whether that’s in our home or in his relationships. This goes beyond physical cleanup; it also involves taking responsibility for his actions. A genuine apology is an action, not just words, and I want him to learn to make amends and grow from his mistakes. -
Reputation Matters, But Not Everything
Confidence is key, but it should be balanced with an awareness of how one is perceived. In today’s age, where social media reigns, I want my son to leave a positive impact on those he encounters. His goal should be to uplift the atmosphere around him and ensure he never makes anyone feel uncomfortable. Building a good reputation opens doors and creates a network of support that can lead to a happier life. -
Independence is Key
I often find myself reminding my son that it’s not anyone else’s job to look for things on his behalf. He has to learn to take initiative and responsibility. It’s a common stereotype that men struggle to find things, but I refuse to let him fall into that trap. He will be taught to handle his own affairs, and I will not tolerate any theatrics when he’s under the weather. Future partners shouldn’t have to play the role of caretaker; he needs to be an equal partner in any relationship. -
Advocate for the Marginalized
My son enjoys privileges that many do not, and it’s crucial that he uses this to speak up for those who need support. Whether it’s intervening during bullying or participating in community activism, he must understand that his voice can make a difference. Advocating for others less fortunate is a responsibility that comes with privilege, and I expect him to fulfill it. -
Kindness is the Ultimate Currency
Being generous and kind will serve him well in life. A positive reputation for compassion will offer him connections and support when he needs it most. While some might find success in cutthroat environments, I want my son to navigate life without sacrificing his integrity. Success can coexist with goodness, and that’s the balance I hope he finds.
Ultimately, I aspire for my son to be self-sufficient, responsible, and aware of his impact on others. It’s a tall order, but I believe it’s entirely achievable.
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In summary, I want my son to grow into a compassionate and responsible adult, equipped with the knowledge and skills to navigate the complexities of life.

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