I held my breath as my daughter, Emily, stepped onto the stage, mentally preparing myself for any negativity that might come her way. In that fleeting moment, I questioned whether encouraging her to perform was the right choice, but there was no turning back now.
At just 14, Emily grapples with anxiety. Yet, here she was, ready to sing in front of a lively audience at a local college venue. This is the same child who seems older and more composed than her years suggest, even if internally she feels quite the opposite.
Just two weeks prior, while on vacation, she spotted a ukulele and begged me to buy it for her. I went through my usual checklist of motherly concerns—why she wanted it, the cost, and whether she would actually use it. Eventually, her excitement was contagious. I had long hoped for her to discover “her thing,” that passion that ignites her spirit.
For the next twelve days, she immersed herself in her room, devouring ukulele tutorials on YouTube. Then came the announcement: she wanted to perform at an open mic night and sing.
Emily is a remarkable individual—humorous, creative, intelligent—a true theater enthusiast with a natural talent for music. However, her singing skills could use some work, and I worried about how others might perceive her performance.
As an adult, I understand that there will always be critics. I know we shouldn’t allow them to dampen our joy and that their opinions reflect more about them than us. Still, it’s natural to want to avoid negativity. Emily often records videos but hesitates to share them, believing they aren’t “perfect.”
I continually reassure her that perfection isn’t necessary, but anxiety frequently wins out. My wish is for her to pursue what she loves without being burdened by the thoughts of others.
However, I also recognize my own struggles. I can’t claim to be someone who confidently wears a swimsuit without a hint of self-doubt. I want Emily to be the kind of person who embraces her true self without reservation, celebrating her flaws and all.
So, I made a conscious decision to step back from my usual controlling instincts and simply say, “Sure, go for it!” How could I encourage her to be brave in one instance while limiting her in another? How could I advocate for her passion and advocate for her to only perform if I thought she was “good enough”?
As she waited for her turn, I noticed her nerves creeping back in. I resisted the urge to suggest she postpone her performance, allowing her to use the anxiety management techniques she had learned. It was clear she was determined to go through with it.
When she finally stepped onto the stage, she opened with a little anecdote that made the audience chuckle. As I relaxed slightly, I braced myself for the performance. Then, to my astonishment, she absolutely nailed it! There were no off-key notes, and her chords were spot on. My daughter showed her anxiety who was in charge! The crowd joined in singing and erupted into applause.
That night, I thought I would be teaching Emily how to deal with critics. Instead, she imparted a valuable lesson: when someone says “you can’t,” whether it’s a boss, a peer, or even your mother, just ignore them. Follow your instincts and pursue your passions—always. Anxiety can take a backseat.
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Summary
The author reflects on her daughter’s courageous performance at an open mic night despite her struggles with anxiety. She learns that facing fears and ignoring detractors is essential for personal growth. The experience emphasizes the importance of pursuing passions and overcoming self-doubt.
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