Coping with My Kids’ Affection for Daycare

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As a parent, it’s a bittersweet realization when your kids appear to love daycare more than you. I certainly didn’t foresee this outcome when my twin boys used to wail at drop-off, missing me so much that I’d barely make it out the door before the tears started. Fast forward to now, and I watch them dash into daycare without a backward glance, much to my surprise. While it’s heartening to see them thrive in an environment they adore, it also leaves me feeling a bit neglected.

Finding the right daycare was a labor of love for my wife and me. We scoured the area, created a detailed spreadsheet, toured numerous facilities, and read endless reviews before settling on a place that felt perfect. We were thrilled to find a welcoming environment with fantastic teachers and a curriculum that resonated with us. Little did we know, our twins would end up loving it so much they’d hardly want to leave!

Every morning, the moment we pull into the parking lot, it’s like they’ve been transformed into little bundles of energy. They bounce in their seats, giggling and singing, eager to jump out of the car. I can barely help them into their jackets before they’re off, racing towards the entrance without so much as a glance back at me. Attempting to steal a goodbye kiss is often met with indifference as they dive headfirst into playtime.

While it’s clear we made the right choice in daycare, it can be disheartening when they seem more focused on their snacks than acknowledging my presence during pick-up. I’ve discovered that if I want a hug or kiss, I need to seize the moment as soon as we get out of the car. If I don’t, they’re off to explore toys or find their teachers. I’ve thought about lingering while they enjoy their morning milk or playtime, but I’ve noticed that children whose parents stick around often struggle more with separation anxiety. I’d rather have kids who are confident enough to part ways without a meltdown, even if it means less affection at drop-off.

Instead, I maximize our pick-up time for interaction. Usually, they’ll glance up at me from their snacks, which gives me a chance to elicit a smile with a silly face or a quick game of peekaboo. As we prepare to leave, I find moments to gather them in for hugs and express how much I’ve missed them. Often, they don’t want to leave right away and want to show me something fun, like jumping on foam blocks. I encourage this playful showcase, steering the conversation in a relaxed manner.

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In summary, while it can be tough when your toddlers seem to favor daycare over home, I’ve learned to cherish the moments we have together, whether it’s during drop-off or pick-up. Fostering their independence is essential, and I’m grateful they’re thriving in a place they love.


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