I recently came across a fascinating article that piqued my interest. It was concise yet provoked an overwhelming response in the comments section. The piece featured a mother who expressed her intention to let her child continue using a pacifier for the foreseeable future. At first glance, this seems harmless, right?
You would think so. However, the reactions were nothing short of outrageous. It was as if the author had declared, “I let my child handle firearms” or “My kid punches people, and I’m totally okay with it.” Instead, all she stated was that her toddler still uses a pacifier. Why is this such a hot-button issue? It’s innocuous; it doesn’t harm anyone. Yet, a staggering 95% of the comments came from other mothers who were outraged over her parenting choices.
I perused the comments, and they ranged from incredulity to outright condemnation: “That’s appalling!” “A three-year-old with a pacifier?!” “This is excessive! Who does that?!” “Hope you can afford braces!” “You’re dooming her to dental issues and speech problems!”
At that point, I decided to share a photo of my daughter, Lucy, celebrating her fourth birthday while proudly sporting her pacifier. A bold statement to the critics:
[Image of Lucy with her pacifier]
The response was even more intense. It’s astonishing to see grown women get so worked up over a child using a pacifier.
In public, I rarely allow Lucy to have it—only on long car trips or during naps and bedtime. In the photo, she hadn’t even left her bedroom yet. But do I really owe anyone an explanation? She’s four, and yes, she has a pacifier.
As a family, we are well-versed in orthodontics since our other daughters have all undergone braces. We also understand that children who don’t use pacifiers or self-soothe with their fingers still have a considerable chance of needing dental work. Why? Because perfect teeth aren’t guaranteed. (I sucked my thumb until I was eleven and never needed braces. My speech is fine too, and my husband is completely aware of this little quirk.) Despite Lucy being four and still using her pacifier, she shows no signs of speech delays or impairment. Is it really anyone’s business?
Why is it that some mothers can’t seem to focus on their own parenting? Why can’t we share moments online without fearing judgment or receiving a barrage of critiques? It grows tiresome.
I don’t care if you let your child wear makeup. Your third grader having a phone doesn’t concern me. If your son refuses to wear a jacket, it’s not my problem. And if your three-year-old isn’t potty trained, who am I to judge? We should concentrate on our families, not invest energy into worrying about others.
Parents should be free to raise their kids as they see fit, provided it doesn’t harm anyone else. Often, we’re only getting a fleeting glimpse into someone else’s life, unaware of their circumstances. My daughter’s pacifier isn’t dangerous; in fact, it keeps her content and ensures a good night’s sleep.
So, if anyone has an issue with it? They can simply deal with it.
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Conclusion
In summary, parenting decisions can provoke strong reactions, often from those outside the situation. It’s essential to focus on one’s own family and practices instead of casting judgment on others. A pacifier for a four-year-old may seem controversial, but it is ultimately a benign choice that brings happiness.
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