We Must Transform Our Conversations with Tween and Teen Boys

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Let’s be honest: while we’re making strides in empowering our girls, we’re overlooking a crucial aspect of youth development—our boys. Yes, there’s a growing movement to help girls embrace their bodies amidst the omnipresent diet culture, and we’re openly discussing topics like sex and menstruation, helping them feel proud instead of ashamed. As a mother of a pre-teen daughter, I’m filled with hope about the future we’re shaping for young women.

However, we can’t forget about our boys, who also face their own battles with body image and emotional health. Many boys grow up grappling with societal expectations—being tough, masculine, and emotionless—when, in reality, they may not fit that mold. They’re navigating a complicated world filled with mixed messages and unrealistic portrayals on social media, all while being bombarded with more information than previous generations could imagine.

Dr. Lily Green, a pediatrician and author, emphasizes the need for awareness and support for boys in her book, Understanding Boys: The New Science of Raising Sons. She asserts that we’re doing a commendable job communicating with girls, but we need to extend that dialogue to boys.

Dr. Green points out that many boys are going through puberty without the visible signs that girls exhibit, leading parents to underestimate the emotional and mental changes they’re experiencing. Conversations around topics like wet dreams and the pressures of body image are crucial. Boys deserve the same open discussions about their development as girls do. After all, they face their own challenges regarding body image, influenced by images of the so-called “ideal” male physique plastered across the internet.

In our efforts to support girls, we’ve inadvertently sidelined boys. Dr. Green argues that information and conversation shouldn’t be treated like a pie—where giving more to one group means taking away from another. We need to provide boys with the language and resources to discuss their feelings, just as we do for girls.

The digital age presents its own challenges for our kids. With the internet at their fingertips, boys are exposed to adult content much earlier than we can shield them from. Dr. Green highlights that 90% of boys aged 18 and younger have encountered pornography, a staggering statistic that necessitates open discussions about consent and healthy relationships.

As parents, we must adapt our approach to parenting boys in this modern landscape. The world has changed, and we need to change with it. By initiating conversations about puberty, emotional well-being, and self-love, we can foster a generation of boys who are confident in themselves and in tune with their emotions, much like the empowered girls we strive to raise.

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In summary, we need to rethink the way we engage with tween and teen boys. By fostering open communication about their bodies and emotions, we can create a supportive environment that allows them to thrive.


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