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Our High School Seniors Are Experiencing Loss
By Emily Carter
Updated: August 6, 2020
Originally Published: April 3, 2020
Photo courtesy of Lisa Brown
This was supposed to be her moment.
The year 2020 promised to be an unforgettable senior year. My daughter had finally come into her own after three years of being an extreme introvert. It was as if a dormant seed had burst forth into bloom. Senior year was the first time she felt a spark of hope and excitement for what lay ahead. She was fully engaged in the present, cherishing every moment while also preparing for her future. Missing classes felt like a significant loss to her, as she recognized how precious and limited this time was. She loved her classes and even looked forward to lunch—a remarkable shift after spending years tucked away in the library during lunch breaks.
She had cultivated strong friendships, becoming a confidante and support system for peers facing challenges at home. She and her first boyfriend were excited about attending her first—and only—prom, and we had a list of vintage shops to explore for the perfect dress. After a summer of diligent SAT prep, she received news of her college acceptance.
As I mentioned, it was her year.
Yet now, graduation announcements sit unopened in the counseling department, caps and gowns are stowed away in flimsy plastic bags, and senior photos fill the glossy pages of a yearbook that may remain unsigned. The much-anticipated graduation party has been canceled, and it appears that the ceremony might take place virtually.
To say my heart aches for her would be an understatement. I longed for my daughter to experience the senior year I never had. I didn’t get the chance to toss my cap in celebration or receive my diploma on stage in front of family. I missed out on the memorable senior trip and the prom.
Consequently, I was thrilled for my daughter to seize the opportunities I couldn’t. The joy of seeing her excited each morning was contagious, as every day offered another chance to embrace her senior year.
Now, she is heartbroken, mourning the lost opportunities to create memories before stepping into adulthood. Senior year is a pivotal time—the grand finale to twelve years of childhood, a moment to relish newfound independence and celebrate milestone birthdays. What began as a season filled with promise has turned into a disappointing conclusion.
What Can We Do to Uplift These Young Adults?
What can we do to uplift these young adults and instill hope? The last thing they need is to hear constant reminders of the grim realities: rising case numbers, staggering death tolls, and government mismanagement. They already have continuous access to that information.
We can emphasize the importance of social distancing—something particularly challenging for teenagers—and share uplifting stories of healthcare workers and communities coming together during these trying times. Highlight the creativity of small businesses adapting to survive. Even in tough times, people can and do rise to the occasion.
However, we also need to carve out “corona-free zones” in our homes. The stress that they are experiencing now is significant and life-altering. They need our empathy and to know it’s okay to grieve. My daughter expressed feeling guilty about her grief, as many face far worse losses—of family, jobs, and stability. While I agree that others have it worse, her feelings are valid and deserve acknowledgment. We are all grieving various losses, each meaningful in its own right.
At least they can find solace in knowing they’re not alone in their grief. As parents, we share in that mourning, which makes it somewhat easier to bear.
For now, we wait. We await updates from the school district as they scramble to devise alternatives and new plans. We wait to see if there will be a way to wrap up senior year positively. The waiting is the most challenging part.
It’s likely that these kids unknowingly completed their last day of high school without a proper farewell. They entered this world in the shadow of 9/11 and are concluding their high school journey amid the global crisis of the COVID-19 pandemic.
Let’s remember to be gentle with our older kids. History is being rewritten, and it’s a heavy burden for them to carry. For more on navigating these challenging times, check out this insightful blog post from our collection.
In summary, the loss experienced by high school seniors is profound and multifaceted. We must support these young adults as they navigate their grief while helping them find hope and comfort amid uncertainty.
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