In these unprecedented times of quarantine, maintaining a healthy partnership can be a challenge, especially for parents. My partner, Jamie, and I have always operated under a simple yet effective principle: when one of us feels overwhelmed by the kids, we tag each other out. Over the years, this approach has had a remarkable impact on our relationship.
How It Works
Here’s the gist of how it works. If I notice that Jamie is reaching her breaking point with our three little ones, I’ll whisk them away for a bit—whether it’s a trip to the park, a movie, or a simple stroll around the block. Likewise, if I’m feeling the pressure, she does the same for me. This straightforward routine has served us well, but the quarantine has thrown a wrench in our plans.
Now, both of us are juggling work from home along with the challenge of homeschooling. Honestly, if we renamed it “yell-school,” it would be more accurate! With nearly all the places we would normally take the kids now closed, the need for a tag out has never been greater. It’s tough to find somewhere fun to go, considering the parks and theaters are unavailable. Even quick treats are limited to curbside pick-ups, which means I’m stuck in the car with the kids—manageable for a short while but certainly not a suitable escape.
A Moment of Action
Just the other day, I could tell Jamie was on the verge of losing it. After a lengthy Zoom meeting, I came downstairs to find chaos: our daughter was in tears over a stuffed llama, while our teenage son refused to clean the dining room table. Jamie’s expression was one that only a mother enduring quarantine could wear.
Recognizing her need for a break, I decided to take action. Instead of embarking on an extensive drive or a long walk, I simply corralled all three kids upstairs. I warned my daughters that any descent downstairs would result in the loss of their beloved toys, and I threatened my son with the confiscation of his cellphone. They stayed upstairs until bedtime, giving Jamie a much-needed moment to breathe.
While this situation doesn’t eliminate the ongoing stress of parenting, it certainly helped Jamie recharge. By morning, she was revitalized and ready to tackle the challenges of raising our kids during a pandemic.
Recognizing the Need for Breaks
Of course, not everyone has the luxury of a two-story house to create such a separation. The essence of this strategy is to recognize that parents need breaks, especially now. If I were in Jamie’s shoes, I know she’d do the same for me.
While we must prioritize our family’s health and adhere to social distancing guidelines, we also need to acknowledge that parenting can be more demanding than ever. We’ve taken on dual roles as both teachers and parents, and I now have a newfound respect for educators after battling with my kids over simple worksheets.
Establishing a Tag Out Strategy
So, I encourage you to sit down with your partner tonight and discuss implementing a tag out strategy. Whether it’s closing a door or keeping the kids in the backyard, it’s crucial to establish a plan. Parents need this support more than ever—and trust me, your partner will appreciate it.
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Summary
The quarantine has made the concept of ‘tagging out’ your partner more crucial than ever. By establishing a system to allow each parent some downtime, you can alleviate stress and strengthen your relationship. It’s essential to communicate and create a plan that works for your family.
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