25+ Kelly Kapoor Quotes That Resonate with All of Us

As we bid farewell to The Office as it moves from Netflix to Peacock, we can’t help but feel nostalgic. The series has brought so much joy, especially during times when we need a good laugh. The dynamic between characters like Dwight and Jim has been a source of comfort for many, especially as we navigate the challenges of social distancing. Among the show’s standout characters is Kelly Kapoor, portrayed by Mindy Kaling, whose vibrant personality and witty remarks have left an indelible mark on fans everywhere. Here’s a collection of some of her most memorable quotes that remind us of our own quirks and ambitions.

Iconic Kelly Kapoor Quotes

“I’m currently on day three of my cleanse diet. All I consume is maple syrup, lemon juice, cayenne pepper, and water for every meal. I just bought some size two bikinis online. So… I’m gonna look amaaaazing!”
“Fall in love, have babies, spend every second together—but don’t let him know that, OK? Just say I’m up for anything, I mean, I’m not a slut, but who knows!”
“Who says what they’re really thinking? What kind of game is that?”
“This day is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S.”
“No, no, no, no, no, no! She’s hot, OK? If you say Hilary Swank isn’t hot, then you’re saying I’m not hot either. Obviously, I’m not as hot as Hilary Swank.”
“You guys, I’m like, really smart now. You could ask me, ‘Kelly, what’s the biggest company in the world?’ And I’d say, ‘Blah blah blah, blah blah blah, blah blah blah.’ Giving you the exact right answer.”
“You wanna call someone that texted you? Do you want to drive them away?”
“I had never really thought about death until Princess Diana died. That was the saddest funeral ever—along with my sister’s.”
(Singing) “Whatever we deny or embrace, for worse or for better. We belong, we belong, we belong together, Ryan.”
“Who am I? I’m Kelly Kapoor, the business queen.”
“I talk a lot, so I’ve just learned to tune myself out.”
“I’m one of the few people who looks hot eating a cupcake.”
“Sometimes I get so bored I just want to scream, and then sometimes I actually do scream. I just sort of feel out what the situation calls for.”
“Yeah, I have a lot of questions. Number one, how dare you?”
“I can’t control what I say to people. I spend the entire day talking.”
“You gave your baby an allergic reaction… just to talk to me?”
“Fashion show! Fashion show! Fashion show at lunch!”
“I think people can be really mean to the hot, popular girl.”
“My resolution was to get more attention.”
“Could you for once just let us enjoy a party instead of making it about all your issues?”
“Ultimatums are key. Basically, nobody does anything for me anymore unless I threaten to take drastic measures.”
“If I get to stay and Ryan is laid off, I will do something dramatic, like Romeo and Juliet… the Claire Danes version.”
Kelly Kapoor: “Well, I manage my department, and I’ve been doing it for years now, and I’ve learned so many life lessons along the way.”
Jim Halpert: “Your department’s just you, right?”
Kelly Kapoor: “Yes, Jim, but I am not easy to manage.”
“If I were you, I would just freak out and get really drunk and then tell someone I was pregnant.”
“No. Not gonna happen. He has hurt me too much and too often. I’m in a healthy relationship now, so I’m not gonna flaunt it, I’m not gonna hurt him, but that door is closed.”
“I don’t talk trash; I talk smack. They’re totally different. Trash talk is hypothetical, like, ‘Your mom is so fat she can eat the internet.’ But smack talk is like, ‘You’re ugly and I know it for a fact ’cause I got the evidence right there.’”
Kelly Kapoor: “Lame? You worked at Anthropologie?”
Jordan Garfield: “Yeah.”
Kelly Kapoor: “That’s like my dream job. How did you even get that job?”
“Yes. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes had a baby named Suri. And Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie had a baby named Shiloh. Both babies are amazing!”
“No, he’s just a big fraud, DeAngelo. He’s like Rango. He doesn’t work here, just like Rango didn’t save those animals. It was all a big misunderstanding.”
Ryan Howard: “For all their generosity of spirit, they password protect their wireless?”
Kelly Kapoor: “Try Jesus.”

As we reflect on Kelly Kapoor’s hilarious and often relatable quotes, it’s clear she embodies the spirit of many of us navigating life’s ups and downs. For those interested in exploring more about home insemination, check out this insightful blog post. If you’re seeking information on home insemination kits, Make a Mom provides excellent resources on the topic. Additionally, Mount Sinai offers valuable information for those exploring pregnancy and home insemination.

Summary

Kelly Kapoor from The Office has delivered some of the most iconic quotes that reflect the humor and challenges of everyday life. Her character resonates with many, making her one of the most relatable figures on the show.