As an Asian-American parent, I’ve thought a lot about the significance of names and their impact on identity. For many people of color, especially in the Asian community, the experience surrounding names can be fraught with challenges. We often encounter situations where our names are mispronounced or dismissed, and we face the uncomfortable question of whether our “American” names are our “real” names. This can serve as a painful reminder of our outsider status in this society.
For me, the idea of giving my children names that may be perceived as “white” was a deliberate choice. I wanted to shield them from the unnecessary hardships that come with having a name that can be difficult for some to say. While many parents choose names that reflect their heritage, I decided to prioritize the advantages that my multiracial husband’s Anglo-Saxon last name can provide.
The bias against certain names is real, and I’ve seen how some people with common names have an easier time navigating life and career opportunities. If bestowing my children with a name that might afford them even a slight advantage in this biased world is possible, then I will do so. Their appearance may signal that they belong to multiple identities, and I want to ensure that their names do not add to any prejudice they may encounter.
Moreover, there is a troubling notion that children must have ethnic names to represent their identity. Why should their appearance dictate the names they carry? A name does not define the entirety of who they are. My children were born in America, and they are proud individuals who can embrace both their American and Asian heritages.
Despite choosing names that may be seen as “typically white,” my kids also have access to their ethnic names and the rich culture that comes with them. This diversity in naming is common among many Asian-American families, and I see nothing wrong with it. In fact, I know many friends who chose to give their children both an American name and a name that reflects their cultural roots.
The idea that only certain groups of people can claim names as their own is bewildering, especially considering that many names in the Western world stem from a variety of cultural backgrounds. My children have both Chinese and American names, and they respond to both without confusion.
While I respect the philosophy that encourages individuals to correct mispronunciations of their names, I also believe that it’s not my responsibility to subject my children to unnecessary discomfort. Everyone is simply trying to navigate a world that is often unkind, and I resent the implication that my children’s names have to fit a narrow definition of what is “Asian enough.”
At the end of the day, my children are Asian enough. They are American enough. Their worth is inherent and not contingent upon the names they carry.
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- Why do Asian-Americans choose traditional names for their children?
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Summary:
This article discusses the complexities surrounding naming choices for Asian-American children, emphasizing the balance between cultural heritage and societal acceptance. It highlights the personal decision made by the author to give their children traditional names, aiming to protect them from bias and prejudice. The author asserts that names do not define identity, and both American and ethnic names can coexist harmoniously.
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