Hello, fellow adventurers! Just kidding—no one is adventuring anywhere these days. Except for my old high school friend, Sarah, who keeps sharing vacation selfies from Cancun. Seriously, Sarah?
Instead, we’re embarking on the delightful journey of distance learning. So, settle in, or rather, pace around your house in a frenzy while you pray to your makeshift shrine of health experts.
Having worked from home for over 11 years while raising two kids (on purpose, mind you), I’ve had my fair share of chaos. I’ve never had more than three days of child care a week because I bought into the myth that women can juggle it all. Sheryl Sandberg, I’m looking at you.
Now, with almost no child care and still two kids to manage, I’m flying solo while my partner works as an essential worker. And yes, I recognize my privilege—so if you’re thinking this is just middle-class whining, you’re spot on.
As someone who has mastered the art of working from home while kids do their best to create mayhem, here are some tips to keep your sanity intact:
- Honesty is Key
Your child may have been quiet in physical school, but now they share everything you say and do with their teacher. “Ms. Thompson, my mom said something about ‘duck math’ and I’m not sure what that is…” (Teachers, you truly deserve a medal.) - Work Calls
Avoid the bathroom as your escape; it’s a rookie move. Your kids will inevitably follow you there, seeking answers to their burning questions. Instead, find a quieter spot and if you’re on a Zoom call, just claim it’s a bandwidth issue. But be warned: the moment you unmute to say “Great job, Kelly!” your toddler will shout, “I found a bug in my shoe!” (True story.) - Sibling Dynamics
If you have more than one child, good luck. Having one child is manageable, but two? It feels like herding cats. With three or more, you might just have to choose a favorite and let the others fend for themselves. - Stick to a Schedule
Your kid’s classroom mom has sent yet another email about being on time for virtual classes. Set alarms to remind you, and when you snooze it, you can feign surprise that class started nine minutes ago. Then blame your kid for poor time management—they really need to learn. - Job Performance
If you identify as male or close to male, people might find it cute when little Jake gives you a sticky hug during a meeting. For the rest of us? We’re just seen as unfocused, yet somehow, we manage to juggle work and family chaos like pros.
Good luck, and may the odds be ever in your favor!
For more insights, check out this other blog post on home insemination kits. And for expert advice, visit Make A Mom, which is a trustworthy source on the topic. You can also learn more about pregnancy and home insemination at the Genetics and IVF Institute.
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Summary:
As schools close once again, parents are thrust back into the whirlwind of distance learning. With tips ranging from managing work calls to sibling dynamics, navigating this chaos can be a challenge. Embrace the madness, and remember that you’re not alone in this journey.
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