Updated: Jan. 29, 2021
Originally Published: Jan. 27, 2021
Content Warning: Abuse
When someone is physically assaulted, it’s easy to recognize it as abuse; most people instinctively think, “That’s abuse,” and might rush to intervene or contact authorities. However, many forms of abuse are less visible and often go unnoticed until they become ingrained in a person’s reality.
Some individuals face relentless verbal attacks designed to belittle and break their spirit. The constant rejection, harassment, manipulative games, and chaos become their everyday existence.
Consider Mia’s Story
Consider a young girl named Mia. During a bitter divorce, her father takes her for a summer without anyone reporting it. Instead of enjoying her time, she spends her days watching cartoons at her grandmother’s house.
After the divorce, Mia’s father remarries but chooses to erase her from his new family. He neglects to support her mother financially and often fails to visit Mia, leaving her feeling invisible.
Meanwhile, her mother transforms from a nurturing figure into a source of anger. She lashes out at Mia, blaming her for her own frustrations stemming from the divorce, workplace harassment, and societal judgment. The once gentle mother now criticizes Mia, calling her lazy and worthless.
At just five years old, Mia learns to fend for herself. She scribbles her first story with a green marker on the back of a toy piano, depicting a girl who runs away. Although her spelling is poor, the narrative resonates deeply with her.
Mia endures her mother’s wrath, which sometimes leads to punishment in the form of confinement. Stripped to her underwear, she is locked in the garage or made to sit at the open door, exposed for the world to see. Cleverly, she hides when she hears footsteps.
Eventually, her father resumes visits, but he often leaves Mia and her younger sister alone in the car for hours while he plays golf, neglecting their needs. The parents use Mia as a pawn, pitting her against the other, demanding loyalty and information.
Mia and her sister spend time with babysitters, often older Filipino “Lolos and Lolas.” One babysitter’s grandson exploits the children, coercing them into compromising situations for the sake of entertainment. Mia tries to protect her sister, but her warnings go unheeded. When she refuses to comply, she is punished by being left alone in a dark stairwell.
Teenage Rebellion and Struggles
As a teenager, Mia rebels, searching for her identity and belonging. She spends time with friends, but when she misses curfew, her mother punishes her severely. Mia learns to pack essentials for nights away from home, sometimes even breaking into commercial buildings for shelter.
Her mother frequently drops Mia’s belongings off at friends’ homes, declaring to their parents that she doesn’t want her daughter anymore. This behavior isolates Mia further, painting her as a troublemaker.
Seeking love, Mia becomes pregnant at 15, finally grasping what affection should feel like. However, her mother’s anger intensifies, threatening to involve Child Protective Services. In an attempt to escape, Mia moves in with her grandparents, yet her mother’s threats persist.
Mia’s sister struggles even more, eventually diagnosed with bipolar disorder and later schizophrenia. Their relationship becomes toxic, marked by conflict and chaos. Mia feels compelled to manage their crises, convinced it’s her duty.
Finding Stability and Healing
Now an adult, Mia has learned to survive her tumultuous childhood by compartmentalizing her trauma. She focuses on her family, striving to create a loving environment for her children while avoiding negative emotions that could disrupt her carefully maintained life. However, unresolved pain lurks beneath her surface.
Despite her determination to remain happy and productive, Mia often retreats to her mental “closet,” replaying old messages of worthlessness. Though she seeks distance from her family, their presence continues to disrupt her life, leading to cycles of disappointment and distress.
In her marriage, Mia initially believes she has found stability. Yet, signs of her husband’s neglect and substance abuse begin to surface. Past traumas resurface as she experiences emotional and physical conflicts in her relationship. Eventually, he leaves, revealing the extent of his own pain.
Mia realizes her coping mechanisms have not served her well. Determined to confront her past, she begins to rewrite her values, focusing on self-love for the first time. This journey will undoubtedly be challenging, but she knows it is essential for her healing.
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Probable Search Queries:
- Signs of emotional abuse
- Coping with childhood trauma
- How to support a loved one with mental illness
- Healing from family dysfunction
- Understanding the effects of domestic abuse
In summary, Mia’s story illustrates the long-term impact of hidden abuse, demonstrating the importance of recognizing and addressing trauma. As she embarks on a new journey of self-love, we are reminded of the strength required to confront and heal from a painful past.
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