During the 2020 holiday season, my husband and I opted for a quiet celebration. We chose not to partake in large gatherings with friends or visit my elderly stepmother. Our primary focus was safety, so we spent the time at home enjoying good food and watching classic films.
In my 54 years of life, I had never seen the Rocky movies. As we watched the first film from 1976, I shared this revelation on social media, and my high school friends were shocked. I ended up enjoying it and continued watching all the sequels, culminating in Creed, where Rocky trains Apollo Creed’s son. A plot point that struck me was when Rocky himself is diagnosed with cancer.
I find the portrayal of cancer in entertainment incredibly frustrating. The typical scene shows a patient sitting in a chair, possibly bald, receiving treatment, and then miraculously recovering within a few months. There’s even a cheerful Netflix show aimed at children dealing with leukemia that presents a rosy picture of recovery. But the reality is often far less optimistic.
My son was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia in 2018 at just 20 years old. Since this is a pediatric cancer, he was treated at a children’s hospital. He underwent multiple treatment plans. We believed Plan C was effective until he relapsed in October 2020.
There’s a saying I once saw on social media: “Anything your parents do for you after you turn eighteen is out of pure love.” Legally, we aren’t obligated to care for our adult children. However, who could possibly turn their back on a child fighting cancer?
We spent countless hours in the hospital together. I stayed by his side, preparing meals to spare him from constant hospital food and running errands when he craved a specific drink. What mother wouldn’t do that? It’s my role to support my child as he battles for his life.
No matter how old a cancer patient is, having an advocate to navigate the overwhelming administrative tasks is essential. From managing appointments to dealing with insurance, there is so much to handle. There are grants and donations available, but someone has to take the initiative to find and apply for them.
Honestly, I am exhausted and do not want to go through this again. I have my own life to manage, including work, a husband, and other children. Yet, I know I must step up. If I don’t, who will?
When people hear about my son’s relapse, they often say, “Let me know if there’s anything I can do.” I appreciate the sentiment, but here’s how you can really help:
1. Stay in Touch with the Family
I understand that it can be hard to know what to say, especially if you’ve faced loss from cancer. Just a simple call to check in can mean the world to us. We want to hear from you and know that you care.
2. Provide Meals
On days when I’m stressed about my son’s treatment, cooking is the last thing on my mind. If you can, please send meals! Many stores offer convenient meal options that can be easily heated.
3. Consider Starting a GoFundMe
Cancer treatment is financially burdensome, even with insurance. I took an unpaid leave from work when my son was diagnosed, and travel expenses for treatment add up quickly. If you know a family in need, setting up a GoFundMe can rally support from the community.
While I wish I didn’t have to navigate this difficult journey again, I will stand by my son’s side until he triumphs over cancer.
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- How to support a family with a cancer diagnosis
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Summary:
Navigating the challenges of caring for a child with cancer is emotionally and physically draining. While the legal obligation to care for adult children is absent, the instinct to support a loved one in such a severe battle remains strong. Friends and family can provide crucial support through regular check-ins, meals, and financial assistance via crowdfunding. The journey is arduous, yet the commitment to stand by your loved one’s side is unwavering.
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