I often receive messages from mothers through my blog, and the most common question is, “How can I encourage my partner to take a more active role?” What frustrates me is that these inquiries rarely come from fathers themselves. In fact, I’ve yet to get a message from a dad saying, “Hey, Alex: How can I be a more engaged husband and father?” But that’s a discussion for another time. I was getting these questions from moms long before the pandemic, but now the volume has doubled.
In the past ten months, I’ve noticed a recurring theme. A mother describes her and her partner working from home, yet her partner is often secluded in a home office with the door shut while she manages the kids’ assignments, finds Zoom links, and ensures they stay on track—all while juggling her job responsibilities. And let’s be honest: that’s just not right.
If you can’t see how this isn’t a fair division of responsibilities, let me clarify. It doesn’t matter who brings in more income, whose job is more demanding, or even if one parent isn’t employed. The truth is, most families are now responsible for their children’s education at home, in addition to work and household duties. Parenting has become exponentially more demanding over the past ten months, and there’s no reason this added burden should rest solely on one parent in a two-parent household. (Single parents have always been the real heroes.)
If this scenario has been true for you since March 2020 and you haven’t taken a moment to evaluate what’s happening in your home, you’re missing the bigger picture. If you’ve ignored your partner’s requests for help and have been tuning out the stress in your household for nearly a year, that’s simply unacceptable.
At this stage of the pandemic, we’re long past the adjustment phase. We’ve been living with this virus for almost a year, and many school districts are likely to keep kids at home for a few more months, possibly for the rest of the school year. Therefore, it’s crucial that moms shouldn’t have to shoulder the majority of the responsibilities any longer.
So, dads, it’s time to step up. Take a moment to assess your involvement. Talk with your partner about how to share the educational responsibilities more equitably. Do it now.
I’m not just some guy who’s not in the trenches. Every day, my family operates from the same space. My partner teaches her online class from our kitchen table while our youngest sits next to me on the couch. Our older kids are at desks, one in the living room and the other next to the kitchen bar.
Each morning, we strategize, discussing our meetings and figuring out who can cover what during the day. We work as a team, communicating with our employers about the need to be flexible with our schedules. Sometimes, I help my kids in the afternoon and finish my work in the evening to allow my partner to teach a class, and she does the same for me. It’s not ideal, but neither is living through a pandemic. The key point is that we are navigating this together.
We are taking on the responsibilities as a partnership, and while it’s not perfect, it is fair. Yes, we’re stressed and tired, and like everyone else, we’d love to return to normal. But until that happens, we’re committed to tackling this together—because that’s what partnership means. If you’re not being a supportive partner, then it’s time to change your behavior. Recognize the situation and do better.
For more insights, check out this post on home insemination and consider resources like this one from Make a Mom for further information on pregnancy. Also, the NHS provides excellent resources related to intrauterine insemination.
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Summary:
In this article, the author addresses the growing concern among mothers about the unequal distribution of educational responsibilities during the pandemic. He emphasizes the need for fathers to take a more active role in homeschooling and parenting duties, encouraging open communication and teamwork. As the pandemic continues, it’s essential for couples to reevaluate their roles and work together to support their children’s education.
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