Recently, I overheard a delightful exchange on a farm near a bike trail in Pennsylvania…
Big brother: “Come on cows. We need to squeeze some milk out of you.”
Little brother: chuckles.
Big brother (whispering): “Shh. Don’t laugh, or they’ll know we’re not farmers.”
Big brother (louder): “Come on cows. We’re farmers!”
Little brother: “Yeah, we’re farmers!”
Cow: “MOOOOOOOO.”
Both boys burst into laughter and dashed back to their bikes.
This is just one of countless memories I hope to cherish for years to come—long after we receive the vaccine, long after my boys return to their daycare and school, and long after my husband and I stop having every day feel like take-your-child-to-work day.
The four of us have spent the majority of our time together over the past year. If someone had told me back in mid-March 2020 that my kids would be home for not just two weeks but an entire year, I would have probably considered quitting my job. I would have thought there was no way I could handle it.
And truthfully, I might have been justified in quitting. The struggle has been real—some days almost intolerable. Two parents working full-time from home while trying to care for a three-year-old and a five-year-old is a challenging endeavor. The arithmetic just doesn’t add up without something suffering.
This situation has stressed our marriage, decreased my work productivity, and significantly increased the boys’ screen time (which, in turn, has made me less concerned about arbitrary limits). My patience has worn thin, and my energy has been depleted in ways I couldn’t have anticipated. My body has felt the strain, my sleep has diminished, and my hair has become an afterthought. Even my occasional adult acne seems to have taken up permanent residence, rivaling my pregnancy skin issues.
BUT…
Lately, I’ve begun to see a silver lining. I’ve watched my boys evolve from just being siblings into true best friends, and I wouldn’t trade that for anything—not even three blissful hours for myself at the salon.
They’ve gone from glimpsing each other a few times a day at daycare to being each other’s everything—playmates, teammates, and meal companions. Together, they’ve transformed into superheroes, scientists, builders, artists, bakers, bike riders, hide-and-seek champions, farmers (ha!), and even Rocky and Mickey for Halloween.
They run, jump, and wrestle. They can get loud, and when I ask them to quiet down, my oldest often responds, “But we’re having so much FUN!” And they truly are. So I smile and negotiate, “Just a little quieter, okay?”
They learn from one another.
Our five-year-old’s naturally competitive spirit makes him eager to share knowledge, turning him into a mentor. When his little brother struggles with something, Big Brother’s initial impatience fades when he sees a chance to teach. He’s helped with everything from potty training—“The next step is…”—to coloring—“I hold it like this and try to stay in the lines”—to cutting down the Christmas tree—“You kneel on the mat to saw it down. You were here last year, but you probably don’t remember because you were just a baby.”
Our youngest is more easygoing, friendly, and a better sharer. His ever-present smile, snuggly hugs, and reminders that “sharing is caring” often help his big brother be a bit less rigid—though don’t expect him to forgive you for unpausing the iPad while he’s in the bathroom.
Of course, they don’t always get along. They bicker over what to watch, who played with which toy first, and whose turn it is to help with breakfast. They yell, push, hit, and occasionally, there’s been a bite or two (the little one is not so laid back when pushed too far).
However, it rarely lasts long, and within five minutes, they’re back to being best friends. I believe this ability to argue and reconcile will serve them well as they continue to learn valuable lessons about friendship.
Assuming all goes according to plan, our oldest will start kindergarten in the fall, and our little guy will return to daycare. That day will be bittersweet, and I already find myself tearing up at the thought. We’ll regain a bit of our freedom, but that freedom will come with its own losses.
I hope this time together leaves a lasting impression on my boys in the best way. I wish for it to be the foundation of a beautiful friendship—one that ends up stronger than it would have been without this unique quarantine journey. I want the closeness they share now to be imprinted in their hearts forever, just as I will hold on to the memories of witnessing their bond flourish during these challenging yet beautiful days.
For more insights into family life, check out this related post on home insemination or learn about CDC’s resources regarding pregnancy. Additionally, if you’re looking for excellent products, Make a Mom offers a top-notch home insemination kit.
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Summary:
Watching brothers develop a deep friendship during challenging times can be a beautiful experience for parents. Despite the struggles of working from home and managing their needs, the bond between siblings can flourish, filled with laughter, learning, and cherished memories.
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