Recently, my partner and I decided to check our insurance website to see if we were eligible for the COVID-19 vaccine. She went first, given her high-risk status after a hospital stay for sepsis last fall. Additionally, she works as a teaching assistant at our children’s school and had previously taught gardening classes. After completing the eligibility survey, she received information about scheduling her vaccine appointment soon.
When it was my turn, I barely made it through three questions before being met with a message that essentially stated, “you really aren’t eligible for the vaccine right now.” Okay, perhaps it was phrased a bit more tactfully, but the truth is, I’m in my late 30s, have no pre-existing conditions, and my job allows me to work from home comfortably. In short, it might be a while before I receive my shot, while my partner is ready to go. I couldn’t shake off the feeling of jealousy. Interestingly, I’m not alone in this; many couples are experiencing similar emotions.
This sentiment is particularly common among older couples with a significant age difference. The Wall Street Journal even published an article featuring several couples in their 60s and 70s, highlighting situations where the older partner was able to be vaccinated while the younger one had to wait. A notable example was that of Linda, 64, who just missed the cutoff for eligibility in her state, while her 78-year-old husband easily secured a vaccine appointment. When she inquired with her doctor about her options, he bluntly said, “You’re in the SOL group.” For those unfamiliar, SOL stands for “sh*t outta luck.” This candid remark reflects the frustrations many feel when they want the vaccine but don’t qualify.
I can relate to that frustration. Just the other day, I bumped into an old friend who works at the hospital. She was lamenting how her second vaccine shot took a toll on her, and I found myself rolling my eyes with envy while internally thinking, “boo-hoo.”
Experts suggest that such feelings of envy are entirely normal. Navigating this pandemic has been a psychological challenge as we all strive to avoid the virus until more vaccines become available. Eric Zillmer, a neuropsychology professor at Drexel University, and Susan Whitbourne, a professor emeritus of psychological and brain sciences at the University of Massachusetts Amherst, addressed the issue of vaccine envy in a recent Washington Post article. They offered valuable insights for those grappling with feelings of jealousy as friends and family members get vaccinated while they wait.
Whitbourne emphasized the importance of acknowledging these feelings: “Don’t pretend you don’t feel this, and don’t beat yourself up for feeling this way. It’s completely normal.” She reassured readers that it’s okay to feel envious and that being emotionally honest is crucial in overcoming those feelings.
Zillmer encouraged us to take a step back and see the bigger picture. “If everyone gets vaccinated, it benefits us all. We often forget that we’re focused solely on our own situation.” His comments highlight the concept of herd immunity, which is the ultimate goal of widespread vaccination. We can’t achieve herd immunity unless a significant portion of the population gets vaccinated, so when someone eligible gets the shot, it’s a win for everyone.
During a recent online therapy session, I shared how difficult it has been to find something to look forward to during this pandemic. My therapist took a moment to respond and reassured me that while things might seem bleak now, by this time next year, we should be returning to a sense of normalcy. That thought brought a smile to my face, especially as I recalled Dr. Anthony S. Fauci’s recent remarks about April being a time when virtually everyone will be eligible for the vaccine.
Although it sometimes feels like time moves slowly during this pandemic, as I write this in late February, April is just around the corner. There’s hope that this vaccine envy will soon be a thing of the past. In the meantime, let’s remain optimistic; a light awaits us at the end of this dark tunnel — even if others reach it before we do.
For More Information
For more on related topics, you can check out this insightful post on home insemination or visit Make a Mom for expert advice on home insemination kits. Additionally, if you’re interested in pregnancy-related resources, the NICHD is an excellent place to start.
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Summary: The author expresses feelings of jealousy when his partner receives the COVID-19 vaccine, highlighting how many others feel the same. Experts suggest these feelings are normal and encourage emotional honesty while recognizing the collective benefits of widespread vaccination. A conversation with a therapist offers hope for a return to normalcy in the near future.
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