Reconnecting with my mom after a year of lockdown (and after we were both vaccinated) was filled with mixed emotions. It was pure delight to be able to embrace her again, to cook a meal for her at my home, and to share it together. It moved me to see her play with my kids, snuggling on the couch as they excitedly discussed their favorite video games. After a year of only phone calls and masked, distanced visits, simply being able to enjoy normalcy felt miraculous.
While I anticipated feelings of joy and relief at our reunion, I was unprepared for the onslaught of diet culture and internalized fatphobia that accompanied it. My mom grew up in a time when societal expectations pushed women to be thin or constantly dieting. Her own mother was an early participant in Weight Watchers, and I have memories of my mom frequently being on some diet or another. At one point, she even sold Herbalife, a well-known name in diet marketing.
Given my history with these attitudes, it shouldn’t have surprised me to encounter them again. However, after a year of distancing myself from such influences—focused on more pressing matters like ensuring my mom’s health during the pandemic—I found her comments glaringly obvious and troubling.
Throughout the past year, my perspective on body image and food evolved as I immersed myself in body positivity, intuitive eating, and dismantling harmful diet culture. So naturally, when I sat down to share a home-cooked meal with my mom, her repeated remarks about moderation and weight struck a nerve.
At one point, after my kids had chosen a small cake to celebrate our reunion, she took two bites and then exclaimed, “Get this away from me! I’ll get fat!” While I know her intentions aren’t malicious, I can’t let my kids be exposed to such harmful notions. In our household, we avoid labeling foods as “good” or “bad.” Yes, we encourage a balanced diet, but we also foster a positive relationship with food, one that doesn’t involve guilt or shame.
I also find it upsetting when people make negative comments about their bodies in front of my children. Although my mom’s remarks are about herself, kids often absorb and internalize the attitudes of the adults around them.
In my frustration, I confronted her—expressing my desire that she refrain from discussing weight in front of my kids. Our relationship is generally trusting, and she acknowledged my concerns without resistance. However, during our next visit, she again brought up her pandemic weight gain and diet plans multiple times. I was taken aback by the frequency of these comments.
This situation is becoming a real issue, and I believe it’s time for a more in-depth conversation with her about the damaging effects of these beliefs. I want her to see her worth beyond her weight and appreciate her overall health, especially after the struggles of the past year. Isn’t this a perfect moment to recognize what truly matters in life and liberate ourselves from the chains of diet culture?
Regardless, there is absolutely no way I will allow this kind of talk around my kids. Protecting their mental health is paramount. It seems that my tolerance for harmful rhetoric has never been lower.
I hope these realizations can become a learning opportunity for both my mom and me, and that she can begin to foster a healthier relationship with her body and food. But one thing is clear: I won’t tolerate any of that talk in my home.
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Search Queries:
- How to talk to family about body image
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- Creating a positive eating environment for kids
In summary, my reunion with my mom after lockdown brought up unexpected feelings as I confronted her fatphobic comments, leading me to prioritize my children’s mental health and the importance of fostering a positive relationship with food. I hope to guide her toward a healthier mindset while firmly setting boundaries in our home.
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