In the digital age, where personal stories abound, I stumbled upon a particularly poignant tale that led me down a thought-provoking path. In the early 1960s, two teenagers, Max and Lily, found themselves in love and navigating the highs and lows of adolescence until an unexpected pregnancy changed everything. Lily’s parents, concerned about societal perceptions, sent her to a maternity home for unwed mothers, where she remained until giving birth and placing her child up for adoption. Max was permitted to visit occasionally and even met their daughter on the day she was born. Shortly after, he enlisted in the military, and upon his return, he proposed to Lily, who accepted, but her parents disapproved. Ultimately, they parted ways (and honestly, her parents should have supported her). Fast forward 53 years, Max and Lily reconnected, married, and successfully found their daughter with the help of Lutheran Social Services. It’s surprising that this inspiring story hasn’t been turned into a podcast, but what lingers in my mind is the reality of how mothers and children were often hidden from society and separated against their will. The question remains: How prevalent was this practice? Do maternity homes still operate today?
In her heart-wrenching book, The Girls Who Went Away, author Ann Fessler shares the narratives of predominantly middle-class, white women who were shamed into entering maternity homes. During the two decades leading up to the legalization of abortion, around 1.5 million unwed mothers were compelled to give birth and surrender their babies for adoption. Families were often mortified by their daughters’ perceived moral failures, ignoring the fact that the fathers of these children faced no repercussions. In the 1950s, medical professionals deemed unwed mothers psychologically unfit for parenting, justifying the removal of their children.
By the mid-1960s, over 80 percent of women entering maternity homes relinquished their babies for adoption, influenced by social workers, parental pressure, and court decisions that framed this as the best choice for both mother and child. Furthermore, the racial bias within these systems meant that unwed Black mothers were less frequently sent away due to stereotypes about their perceived promiscuity and presumed maternal instincts. Social workers often informed both Black and white mothers that few families would adopt Black infants. All mothers faced systemic injustice, albeit for different reasons.
Today, there is a broader acknowledgment of the diverse gender identities of individuals capable of pregnancy, yet discussions surrounding reproductive rights primarily center on cisgender women. While the focus here is on cis women, transgender men and nonbinary individuals encounter similar challenges. Despite the Roe v. Wade ruling, many still find their autonomy over reproductive choices compromised, often dictated by external influences, particularly men. Rather than being supported, women frequently face shame and coercion, leading to decisions that do not align with their true desires.
Maternity homes still operate today, though thankfully, many have transitioned to function more as safe havens for those in need rather than places of coercion. Across the nation, these homes provide shelter, food, and resources to women and teens who face uncertainty regarding their pregnancies, allowing them the choice of whether to keep their babies. However, many of these facilities are faith-based, and the option of abortion is often off the table. Homes like LifeHouse of Houston offer valuable resources, such as labor and delivery classes and job training. While the environment can be structured and often religiously oriented, women entering these homes are generally aware of what to expect.
Despite the increased autonomy for women today compared to the 1960s, the existence of waiting lists at maternity homes highlights ongoing societal failures. Sexual education in the U.S. remains inadequate, with only 30 states and the District of Columbia mandating sex education in schools; the content often falls short of what is necessary. Emphasis on abstinence prevails, while discussions around consent lack depth, and only 11 states provide LGBTQIA+-inclusive education. The CDC reports a decline in teen pregnancy rates, yet they remain significantly higher than in other developed nations, with persistent racial and economic disparities.
No expectant parent should feel compelled to make choices about their child due to a lack of familial support or equitable societal systems. Maternity homes should never have existed for their original purposes, and it is frustrating that they still operate, even under more compassionate pretenses. Stigma, religious influences, and racism continue to undermine reproductive autonomy.
While I am glad that Max and Lily’s story ended on a positive note, including their reunion with their daughter, the trauma and pain Lily experienced could have been avoided had her autonomy been respected. Expectant individuals deserve clear and safe options when navigating parenthood, regardless of whether they choose to embrace or avoid that path. These decisions are deeply personal and should remain free from external debate.
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Summary:
Maternity homes, originally designed to house unwed mothers, have transformed into safe spaces for those facing pregnancy challenges. Despite some improvements, societal stigma, inadequate sexual education, and ongoing disparities in reproductive rights persist. Each expectant individual deserves respect and support in their choices regarding parenthood, free from shame and coercion.
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