Considerations Before Engaging in ‘Fat Positive’ Spaces

Let’s face it: most of us harbor some degree of fatphobia. Whenever I mention this, I’m met with a predictable range of reactions. Some individuals insist, “No way! I’m definitely not fatphobic!” Others claim, “Fatphobia isn’t real. You just want sympathy.” And then there are those who want to share their attraction to larger bodies, which is not what fat positivity is about for many.

However, there are those who genuinely seek to understand and improve their perspectives. They realize that our society promotes an ideal of thinness and acknowledge that it’s natural to have biases against larger bodies. These individuals are eager to learn and evolve.

Today, I’m focusing on this latter group. If you’re not here to engage thoughtfully or if you’re determined to argue against this topic, this isn’t the right space for you.

Understanding Fatphobia

Let’s talk about fatphobia: the belief that larger bodies are lesser than thinner ones. We all carry some level of it, even those of us who are fat ourselves.

I identify as fat and frequently discuss the topic. Despite my efforts to change my mindset over the years, I still struggle against unrealistic body ideals and often find myself comparing my body to others, searching for ways to feel “more acceptable.” Recognizing these thoughts is crucial, and I strive to address them with someone I trust. Yet, feeling negative about my own body during vulnerable moments shows that I still have progress to make.

I gather insightful fat-positive content from various online creators. A recent thread by Mia Thompson is particularly enlightening. There are so many brilliant voices sharing their knowledge online, educating us one post at a time. Platforms like Instagram and TikTok are fantastic for quick doses of fat positivity. If you appreciate a creator’s work, especially if they are from marginalized communities, consider supporting them financially; they shouldn’t have to create content for free.

The community I’ve found in fat-positive online spaces has been a balm for my diet-culture-injured spirit, and I believe others could benefit from it too. However, before you dive in, here are some key points to consider:

Key Considerations

Recognize the Fatness Spectrum

It’s undeniable that the larger someone is, the more challenging it can be to navigate our thin-centric society. We don’t need to debate this. While all fat individuals may share certain experiences, such as bullying and discomfort in their bodies, those in significantly larger bodies often face unique challenges. When they advocate for changes that would benefit them, it’s essential to listen, even if their experiences differ from yours.

Avoid Speaking Over Those with Larger Bodies

If you’re fat, it’s crucial not to overshadow someone who is larger. If a larger person shares their experiences with size discrimination, you don’t have the right to dismiss their feelings or experiences. Your role, especially as someone with a smaller body in fat-positive spaces, is to listen and learn, taking those insights with you to foster inclusivity in your own circles.

Don’t Impose Your Own Standards of Acceptability

If our goal is to create a more inclusive world, we cannot exclude those at the heaviest end of the spectrum. As someone who doesn’t fit the hourglass ideal, I’ve often witnessed certain fat bodies receiving more validation than others. It’s easier to celebrate fatness when it aligns with mainstream beauty standards. Remember, true fat positivity must encompass all body types.

Confront Your Own Negative Attitudes Toward Fatness

It may be uncomfortable, but you must face any biases you hold. If you find yourself thinking, “I’m glad I’m not fat!” that’s a sign of fatphobia. It’s essential to recognize that everyone, regardless of size, deserves respect and dignity.

Obsession with Perfect Health is Misguided

Not all fat people are healthy, and the same goes for thin individuals. Health cannot be used as a barometer for worthiness. Suggesting that only those who are healthy deserve respect perpetuates an unrealistic standard. Let’s acknowledge that many people, regardless of size, may never achieve perfect health.

In Summary

Avoid making fat-positive spaces revolve around your experiences. Listen more than you speak and trust the narratives shared by those affected. Fat individuals lead complex lives beyond stereotypes, and it’s crucial to approach these conversations with an open heart and mind.

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