Congratulations on becoming a new dad! If your experience resembles mine, I sympathize with you. My son is about to turn two, and while he’s a delightful toddler now, I can’t help but preface any conversation about him with the fact that he was an incredibly challenging infant. His first few months—often referred to as the fourth trimester—were a test of my patience, strained my relationship, and drained our finances. Instead of the joyful bonding I was promised, it was undeniably the most challenging period of my life.
At the playground, well-meaning strangers often strike up casual conversations, expecting a simple exchange. When they compliment my son, I can’t help but respond with, “Thanks, but he was an incredibly difficult baby!” This usually leads to an unsolicited recounting of my struggles, which often sends them running back to their own kids.
What Colic Looked Like for Us
Like many newborns, Lucas spent his first few days in a peaceful slumber. Initially, my wife and I thought we could handle this, but everything changed on Day 4 when the chaos began. My wife and I often joked about having two different versions of our son: Lucas 2.0, the cheerful toddler, and Lucas 1.0, the colicky infant who cried incessantly for months on end.
Newborns typically have three essential tasks: feeding, sleeping, and eliminating waste. Unfortunately, Lucas struggled with all of them. Breastfeeding was a nightmare; he couldn’t latch properly, and the lactation advice my wife received felt impossible to follow. While he could pee and poop just fine, his digestive system seemed determined to cause him distress. After each feeding, he would writhe in pain for long stretches, arching his back and crying out in discomfort. Our sleep became fragmented, with the best nights giving us a mere three hours of consecutive rest.
The crying was relentless—high-pitched and urgent, unlike anything I had ever experienced. Colic is sometimes described by the “Rule of 3,” which means three or more hours of crying, three or more days a week, for three weeks or longer. For Lucas, it was more like a “Rule of 7.”
Coping with Colic: What Didn’t Work
- Fancy swaddles
- Gripe water
- Dietary changes (my wife tried cutting dairy)
- Rocking chairs
- Bouncy chairs
- Musical chairs that only intensified the crying
The only thing that provided temporary relief was the “Five S’s”: swaddling, holding him on his side, swinging, shushing, and giving him a pacifier. I spent countless hours bouncing him with the NBA playoffs on in the background, but the moment I took a seat, the crying would resume. My wife researched every product claiming to soothe colic, but nothing seemed to help. We even rented a Snoo, a bassinet that shakes your baby to sleep but ultimately proved useless.
Coping with Colic: What Actually Helped
The one method that did provide some comfort was wearing Lucas in a carrier and taking walks. However, since he was born in February in Minneapolis, “outside” felt more like an ice rink. I adapted by walking on a treadmill for hours, all while flipping through GRE vocabulary words on my phone.
Eventually, I learned that parenting a colicky infant wasn’t about mastering skills but enduring a trial by fire. Accepting help made it a bit easier. Family members flew in to support us, which allowed my wife and me to take short breaks. Although this didn’t soothe Lucas, it helped me regain energy and composure.
Perspective also played a crucial role. Speaking with other parents and reading their experiences reminded me that colic eventually ends and doesn’t doom your child to a lifetime of issues. Our motto post-colic became #neverforget, but we took comfort in knowing that Lucas wouldn’t remember those difficult months.
Ultimately, time was the only cure for colic. By four months, the crying started to wane, and by five months, it was mostly gone.
It Will Get Better!
To any dads struggling with a colicky baby, remember that this phase is temporary. Colic isn’t a reflection of your child’s future temperament; it often stems from an immature digestive system. Understanding this fact may not ease the sleepless nights, but knowing there’s a light at the end of the tunnel can motivate you to keep going.
Looking at Lucas today, it’s hard to believe he was once a screaming infant. While I may never forget the trials of those early months, they have deepened my appreciation for the wonderful boy he has become.
For more insights on colic and parenting strategies, check out this other blog post or explore the comprehensive resources at Make a Mom. Additionally, the CDC offers excellent information on reproductive health, which can be helpful during your parenting journey.
Search Queries:
- Colic remedies for infants
- How to soothe a colicky baby
- Signs of colic in newborns
- What to do with a crying baby
- Understanding infant digestive issues
Summary:
The early months of parenthood can be incredibly challenging, particularly when dealing with a colicky infant. This article explores the various methods that failed to soothe colic in the author’s son, Lucas, while highlighting the one approach that provided relief: wearing him in a carrier and taking walks. It emphasizes the importance of support, perspective, and the understanding that time is the ultimate healer.
Leave a Reply