If you’ve ever been really thirsty, you know that water can taste divine. Or perhaps you’ve gone without sweets for a while, and when you finally indulge in your grandmother’s apple pie, it becomes a delightful experience rather than just a snack.
There’s a saying that “Good things come to those who wait,” and while this isn’t always true, there’s merit in delaying gratification. The effort you put into something can make the reward feel even more satisfying. I often share this idea with my daughter. She enjoys buying clothes with the money she earns from her dishwashing job but also wants to save for a car. Like many teens, she dreams of getting one handed to her, but I remind her that hard work will make her appreciate it much more than if I simply gifted it to her with a big ribbon on top.
Have you considered applying this concept to your sex life? Engaging in a practice known as edging—where you bring yourself close to orgasm and then pause—can lead to even more intense orgasms.
I understand that if you’re a parent, you might find it challenging to carve out time for this, especially after a long day when all you want is quick relief before collapsing into bed. However, if you can find a few moments for yourself, it’s certainly worth exploring.
Getting Started with Edging
So how can you start this edging practice, and what benefits can you expect? We spoke with Sarah Bennett, a Certified Sex Educator and Relationship Expert, who offered some insightful tips.
First, adjust your mindset regarding masturbation. Shift your focus from just achieving orgasm to enjoying the journey of edging. “Masturbation shouldn’t be merely about relieving boredom or sexual tension,” Bennett advises.
Another vital suggestion is to avoid porn or erotic images while edging. Bennett explains that these distractions pull your attention outward, away from your own sensations. Instead, edging allows you to become familiar with your body’s various arousal stages. Before you try this with a partner, spend some time exploring your body solo.
To begin, create a comfortable environment. Dim the lights, lock the door, light some candles, or play soothing music—whatever helps you relax and tune in to yourself.
Next, close your eyes and visualize something or someone that excites you. Then, “Touch yourself until you feel aroused,” Bennett suggests. As your excitement builds, pay attention to how your heartbeat quickens, your muscles tighten, and your skin flushes. This is the excitement phase of arousal.
Stay present and aim to hover around 80% of your arousal, bringing yourself back down to about 50% before nearing climax. If you feel yourself getting close to orgasm, pause and slow down—remove your hands and take a moment to breathe.
After practicing this several times, allow yourself to reach orgasm and note how it feels—often, it can be longer and more intense than usual.
Bennett also emphasizes that if you want to try this technique with a partner, communication is key. Let your partner know when you’re approaching climax so they can adjust their touch, focusing on gentler stimulation elsewhere until you’re ready to go over the edge again.
The Benefits of Edging
The benefits of edging are plentiful. It enhances your body awareness and helps you become more attuned to your sensations, which can boost your confidence in understanding what brings you pleasure. Moreover, it can lead to more powerful and longer-lasting orgasms.
For many, finding a few moments of “Mommy Alone Time” can be a worthwhile investment in achieving more satisfying intimate experiences. The hard work you put into it could lead to a happier you.
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Summary
Edging is a technique that can enhance sexual pleasure and lead to more intense orgasms by prolonging the arousal phase. By focusing on the journey rather than just the climax, individuals can become more aware of their bodies and what excites them. This practice can be enjoyed solo or with a partner, fostering communication and deeper intimacy.
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