Let’s dive into my journey as an older mom. I spent my younger years focused on my career as a journalist, and the thought of changing diapers or staying home at night seemed daunting. But one day, at 40, I turned to my partner and said, “It’s now or never.” Miraculously, five months later, I welcomed my little one into the world.
The Good
Self-Awareness
I consider myself fortunate to have become a mom later in life. By the time I had my child, I had a solid sense of who I was. Unlike in my 20s and 30s, I wasn’t navigating my own personal growth while raising a child.
More Time and Patience
While I may not be the perfect mom, I definitely have more time and patience now compared to earlier in my life. I also have the luxury of time to read parenting books and absorb new ideas on how to improve my skills. I may not be endlessly patient, but I am certainly calmer than I would have been while juggling a demanding job.
Financial Stability
Thanks to my partner’s job, I was able to take time off after my baby was born. My two decades of work experience provided me with the skills and connections to make re-entering the workforce less daunting.
Help is Available
We hired a wonderful nanny named Mia, who truly cherished our daughter. With guidance from a friend who also became a mom later in life, I learned to focus on the joyful moments, like bath time and reading together, rather than feeling guilty for not doing everything myself. This mindset made me a much happier and more engaged mom.
Less Rigid and More Fun
As older parents, my partner and I have relaxed our approach to rules. We are more confident in our parenting style than we would have been in our younger years. Unlike friends who were strict about schedules, we embrace spontaneity and enjoy welcoming visitors, even if it means skipping a bath or having dinner parties on weeknights. I’ve also discovered that I’m more fun; I’m less concerned about looking silly, which means I can fully embrace my daughter’s antics, like dancing in public.
The Bad
Aging
With age comes the need for more stretching, lest I pull a muscle while picking up my little one. I tire more quickly and crave solitary time to recharge. Sometimes, I think the greatest pleasure in motherhood is a long flight for work, complete with a glass of wine and a tiny movie screen.
Older Than Other Parents
While I may possess confidence, being older than other moms is a source of discomfort for me. I sometimes find myself wishing I could pass for younger. On my 50th birthday, I was at a school event when a younger friend inquired if it was a special birthday. I quickly fibbed, saying it wasn’t, as I didn’t want to draw attention to my age.
Tech Challenges
The tech world is a generation ahead of me. I struggle to relate to my daughter’s online interests, from her Instagram obsession to her Roblox creations. If I were younger, I might engage more readily with the digital world.
Heightened Awareness of Age
I often feel self-conscious about my age, especially in social situations with other parents. I remember a visit to a water park where I realized that the people I was chatting with were all grandparents, while I was still navigating motherhood. Their surprised reactions made me acutely aware of my status.
Ultimately, I wouldn’t trade my experience as an older mom for anything. I feel incredibly grateful for my journey.
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