Have you ever experienced the thrill of thirst, where water tastes exceptional? Or perhaps, after a long absence from sweets, a single bite of your grandmother’s apple pie transports you to another realm?
The adage, “Good things come to those who wait,” often holds true, especially when it comes to savoring pleasure. While the immediate gratification can feel satisfying, delaying gratification can amplify the eventual reward. This principle applies not just to life’s little treats, but to your sexual experiences as well.
I often share this concept with my son, who loves splurging on clothes from his hard-earned money but equally desires to save for a car. Rather than simply handing him the keys to a new ride, I emphasize that the journey of waiting and working for something makes the reward far more meaningful.
So, how can this philosophy enhance your sex life? The technique known as “edging” — bringing yourself close to orgasm and then pulling back — can lead to more intense and fulfilling climaxes.
I understand that for busy parents, finding time for this practice can be a challenge, especially after a long day when all you want is to collapse into bed. However, if you can carve out a few moments, it’s worth exploring.
To help you get started, I connected with Alex Martinez, a Certified Sex Educator and Relationship Expert at PleasurePath, who shared insightful tips on how to practice edging effectively.
Shifting Your Perspective
First and foremost, shift your perspective about masturbation. Rather than focusing solely on reaching climax, make edging your primary goal. “Masturbation should be about exploring your body, not just a means to relieve tension,” says Martinez.
Avoiding Distractions
Additionally, it’s advisable to avoid porn or any explicit images while practicing edging. These stimuli can divert your attention away from your own sensations, which is counterproductive. Instead, familiarize yourself with your body’s responses through solo practice before introducing a partner into the mix.
Creating the Right Atmosphere
To set the scene, create a comfortable atmosphere. Dim the lights, lock the door, light some scented candles, or play your favorite music to help you relax and concentrate on yourself. Next, close your eyes and imagine someone or something that excites you. Allow yourself to touch and arouse your body until you begin to feel the excitement build.
Understanding Your Body
During this phase, pay attention to the changes in your body: your heartbeat quickens, your muscles tense, and blood flows to your erogenous zones. The objective is to hover around 80% of the way to orgasm before pulling back to about 50%.
When you sense you’re nearing climax, stop stimulation completely. This practice requires patience and awareness. After several attempts, when you do allow yourself to fully release, you should notice a more powerful and prolonged orgasm.
Keeping Sessions Brief
Keep your sessions brief — around 15 to 20 minutes — to maintain focus without feeling overwhelmed. If you choose to involve a partner, communication is key. When approaching climax, inform your partner to adjust their touch to something gentler, allowing for a build-up rather than immediate release.
The Benefits of Edging
The benefits of edging extend beyond merely achieving orgasms. It enhances your awareness of your body and increases confidence in what pleases you. It can also help women better understand their anatomy and pleasure points.
For some quiet “me” time, I find the effort of edging well worth it if it results in longer, more intense orgasms.
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