For years, my kids have been clamoring for a “Yes Day.” This concept involves saying yes to nearly all their requests for a full 24 hours, as long as they’re reasonable. To delay the inevitable, I often ask them what their ideal day would look like. To my surprise, their answer is always the same: unlimited screen time.
Let me clarify: our children are not exactly deprived of electronics. We’ve had countless days where video games and movies dominated our time together, so their desire isn’t completely unreasonable. However, a genuine “Yes Day” requires more creativity—which is partly why I’ve been hesitant to commit.
For such a day to work, my kids need to brainstorm what they actually want to do or places they want to visit. I also insisted we establish some ground rules, but we never really developed a concrete plan. After watching the Netflix film Yes Day, featuring Jennifer Garner, the idea resurfaced, and I’m now determined to pencil in our “Yes Day” on the calendar.
The movie is based on Amy Krouse Rosenthal’s book of the same name. Before starring in the film, Jennifer Garner used the book to inspire an annual “Yes Day” for her kids. Garner explained to Scary Mommy, “I pitched it, produced it, found the writer. I wanted to do this and chose to work. I need joy as a person. And I need joy coming at me. I need to put it out there. I felt like this was a chance to do it. And I think we did.” Watching the film brought my children and me joy, along with some valuable reminders about appreciating one another—something that can be lost in the daily grind, especially during a pandemic.
The film begins by contrasting life before and after children. It’s much easier to say yes to fun activities when you’re only responsible for yourself or your partner. When kids are involved, however, we quickly realize that their idea of fun often leads to risky decisions made by still-developing brains. And, of course, their requests typically arrive right before bedtime, during school hours, or when we’re knee-deep in chores that require concentration.
It’s not that parents are against fun; it’s just that keeping kids safe can be daunting. Saying no to seemingly harmless requests becomes a natural reaction. I can hear my kids asking for ice cream, but my brain also hears, “Can we set the porch on fire?”
Watching the film opened my eyes to how often parents say no. I could see the disappointment on my kids’ faces when they anticipated a no. Ugh. I recognize that look all too well, and it pains me. Yes, I’m busy and stressed, much like Garner’s character, but I want to embrace the playful moments with my children before they outgrow that desire. Sometimes I convince myself that I have time, but my oldest is already 10—how did that happen? My twins are nearly eight, and we’re at a great stage to create wonderful memories. “Yes Day” served as a wake-up call to seize these fleeting moments.
An unexpected yet refreshing aspect of “Yes Day” was its exploration of family dynamics. The film highlights how one parent often embodies the “fun” role (typically the dad, who is seen as the easy-going one) while the other parent shoulders the responsibilities and rules (often the mom, who feels exhausted from managing everything). My children recognized this narrative as it unfolded on-screen.
Initially, they thought my ex and I should be more like the “fun Dad.” Though my ex tends to be more relaxed with rules, I’m grateful that I don’t shoulder all the burdens alone. Our parenting styles may differ, but we both contribute to the responsibilities.
The film subtly allows my kids to glimpse into my thought process. They saw themselves in the chaotic, loud, and messy world of childhood, leading them to appreciate the challenges I face. While this realization may not lead to immediate changes, it fosters a better understanding of why I can’t always say “yes.”
I expressed to them my desire to say “yes” more often. I want to integrate more fun, kid-driven plans into our days. Parenting is an incredible journey, and there’s nothing wrong with indulging in ice cream for dinner every now and then. We even discussed making intentional plans for our “Yes Day” once the threat of COVID has lessened.
We all agreed that the constant “no” from the pandemic has been a drag, but we can hold out a few more months for a well-planned day of “yes.”
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Summary:
Watching “Yes Day” with my kids reminded me of the importance of saying yes more often amidst our busy lives. The film highlighted the balance of parenting roles and the need for playful connection, especially during challenging times like a pandemic. As we plan our own “Yes Day,” I aim to foster joy and embrace the moments before my kids grow up.
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