As adults, we often come to the painful realization that not everyone will like us. It’s a tough truth that can sting, especially for those who internalize others’ opinions, leading to a decline in self-worth and confidence. So, how do we approach this sensitive topic with our children? Should we shield them from this reality or allow them to discover it independently? If we choose to prepare them, at what age should we start?
Every child is unique, and each situation varies. However, I believe it’s essential to discuss this early on to help prevent the self-doubt that can stem from the harsh truth of being disliked. It’s crucial to teach kids that their value isn’t tied to others’ perceptions of them.
Last year, I picked up my three-year-old son, Leo, from a playgroup session. He was eager to learn more, so we enrolled him in weekly classes. On that day, his teacher mentioned, “There might be some kids who feel jealous of Leo. Even some adults might find him intimidating…” While I appreciated the heads-up, this unexpected comment stayed on my mind.
Reflecting on both the teacher’s words and instances where kids didn’t want to play with Leo or were outright unkind, I knew it was time for a heart-to-heart. Though he was the youngest in his circle of friends, I had dismissed their behavior as typical childhood antics. I hadn’t considered that jealousy might be a factor as he grew older.
I felt it was necessary to equip him with the tools to handle potential rejection, understanding that not everyone is meant to be a friend—and that’s perfectly fine. I admit, the thought of initiating this conversation made me anxious. I wasn’t sure how to approach it or if there was even a “correct” way to do so. I worried he might not grasp the concept or feel sad about it.
To my relief, our conversation went better than I anticipated. I told Leo that sometimes other kids might not want to play with him. When he asked why, I explained that it often has nothing to do with him personally; sometimes, others just feel that way, and that’s okay. If it happens, it doesn’t mean he’s done anything wrong.
After our discussion, I asked Leo how he would handle a situation where someone didn’t want to play with him. His response was, “I’ll ask if they can be my friend!” I praised his kindness but also reminded him that if they truly didn’t want to play, he could make friends with someone else. He nodded in understanding.
A few days later, I revisited the topic and asked him again what he would do. He confidently replied, “I’ll ask if they can be my friend, and if not, that’s okay. I’ll go play with someone else!” True to his nature, Leo is now sharing this lesson with his younger sibling, helping her understand that it’s natural for some to want to play alone.
I feel we are making progress in teaching him not to expect everyone to love him, which is a challenging lesson for parents as well. Preparing our children for adversity is one of the greatest gifts we can give them, helping them shine in difficult moments.
For more insights on parenting and navigating challenges, check out this related post on Home Insemination Kit. Additionally, if you’re exploring home insemination options, Make a Mom offers expert resources. For information on pregnancy, WHO has excellent resources.
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