In many respects, I’ve been fortunate during this pandemic. Fortunately, my family hasn’t contracted COVID-19, and while I know people who have suffered severely, no one close to me has passed away. My husband and I retained our jobs, and our children’s mental well-being remained intact despite the strict lockdowns during the first year.
When it came to managing the challenges of the pandemic as a working parent, I was lucky to have a partner who really stepped up. He not only helped our kids navigate the chaos of online schooling while we both worked from home, but he also took a leave of absence for the 2020-2021 school year to assist with their learning, which eventually turned into full-time homeschooling for our youngest.
While at home, my husband took on more household responsibilities than usual without complaint, proving himself to be incredibly supportive. However, the emotional and mental burdens of the pandemic have weighed much heavier on me. He hasn’t engaged in the family decision-making process regarding our pandemic response in the same way I have. I understand this is just his nature; he doesn’t tend to stress about things out of his control, like a global health crisis. Thus, I’ve naturally taken on the role of making decisions for our family’s safety, knowing that he would likely defer to my judgment.
Let me illustrate my situation. I’ve been the one to determine how much and in what manner we socialize during these challenging times. When the world began to reopen in the summer of 2020, I decided that outdoor visits with our relatives, while wearing masks, were the safest option—especially since no one was vaccinated. He supported this decision, agreeing it made sense.
Last year, while my husband shared my concerns about sending our kids back to school during a pandemic without knowing if the safety measures would be effective, he didn’t delve into the extensive research or lose sleep over the decision like I did. Ultimately, he didn’t feel strongly enough to make the final call.
Now, as we navigate the Delta variant, I find myself once again overwhelmed with decisions. The brief relief we experienced when three out of four family members got vaccinated has faded. With the spike in cases, especially among the vaccinated, I’m back to worrying about how to protect our unvaccinated child. I’m grappling with questions about mask quality for school and the overall safety of in-person learning, which has led to sleepless nights and tears.
I’m simply exhausted. While my husband understands the situation is challenging, he doesn’t share the same emotional turmoil, partially because he knows I’ll handle the heavy lifting. I appreciate his trust in my decision-making, but sometimes I wish he could share more of the mental load. I’m not sure what I need from him—whether to express stronger opinions or anticipate decisions before I stress over them.
In truth, I’m uncertain about what I want to change, but the weight of this responsibility feels burdensome. I recognize I’m not alone in this struggle; being the designated decision-maker during a pandemic is a uniquely stressful experience.
If you’re interested in exploring more about family planning options, check out this excellent resource on various family-building alternatives. You can also find additional insights into home insemination in this article, which delves into related topics.
Summary:
The author expresses frustration and fatigue from being the primary decision-maker for her family during the pandemic. Despite having a supportive partner, she shoulders the emotional burden of navigating safety protocols and decisions related to their children’s well-being. As the Delta variant complicates matters, she longs for shared responsibility in decision-making, acknowledging the unique stress that comes with being the designated family planner during these trying times.
Leave a Reply