Let’s get real: I swear. A lot. “Fuck” is a personal favorite. It’s versatile—happy, sad, or angry—it fits almost every mood. “Shit”? Love it. “Goddamn”? Definitely a go-to. And “asshole”? A term of affection in my book. I’m an adult; I say what I want, and honestly, I’m not concerned about your opinion.
Most mornings start off simple: “Oh, crap! We need to hurry, or we’ll be late.” I might add, “Don’t forget that darn water bottle again.” I try to keep the cursing down in the mornings so my kids have a decent start, but once they’re out of the car, my true self comes out, and let’s just say, she enjoys a colorful vocabulary.
I don’t know about you, but I consider myself a great driver. I follow the rules, but not everyone else does. It feels like my duty to let them know how bad they are. I avoid hand gestures because, you know, people might be watching, so I just vent to myself about the “genius” drivers who hit the road during a downpour. Seriously, don’t get me started on the “sunshine slowdown.” Those people should just give up their keys! And if you honk at me at a red light? Seriously? It just turned green!
My favorite swears aren’t limited to “fuck.” “Shit” is another fun one. It’s so adaptable: “I don’t get this shit,” “Clean up your stuff,” or “I don’t care what he said, I said no.” And “Holy shit!”? It captures every emotion from surprise to sadness. It even pairs well with “Jesus, Mary, and St. Joseph!” A nice nod to my Catholic upbringing that makes my mom proud of her investment in my education.
Let’s be honest, don’t you ever want to call someone an asshole? I sure do! And I use the word frequently. You can be an asshole, you can act like one, or you can just know that guy who is an absolute asshole. My husband is very familiar with the term. For a while, he probably thought it was his name.
Speaking of my husband, he’s no stranger to cursing either. If we counted the number of “Motherfuckers!” yelled at the computer, he’d win hands down. But when technology fails, I tend to go with “son-of-a-bitch.” “This son-of-a-bitchin’ WiFi never works in this house! I swear we’re switching providers after this billing cycle!” It just rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it?
The one word I avoid? It starts with “c” and ends with three other letters. It gives me the creeps. No matter how awful someone is, I won’t use that word. My husband won’t either. In a household where swearing is the norm, we maintain some standards.
You might think I need a swear jar to keep things in check around my kids, right? Well, do they take debit? I don’t have cash for that. My kids know this is just how I talk, and it’s a clear “do as I say, not as I do” situation. They understand that this kind of language is for adults. You have to earn the right to unleash a “stupid motherfucking asshole” when someone really gets on your nerves. They’re just not ready for that level of responsibility yet. And if they did curse, it would make me look bad, and I can’t have that tarnish my perfect parenting record.
Some days, I keep the swearing to a minimum. I might just tell my husband he’s acting like an ass without calling him an actual asshole. Not everything I say is crass. I share lots of compliments too: “I love your haircut!” “Your daughter is so adorable!” “I’m so proud of your hard work.” “Shoot, I just cut my finger.” “Darn, I thought you’d like this shirt.” I’m a nice person; I just like to add a little spice with an occasional “fuck.” Is that really so bad?
I’m not a shy wallflower who prefers to be quiet and sweet. If that’s what you’re looking for, keep moving. But if you want to swap expletives, take a seat. It’s a pleasure to meet you!
For more insights, check out this related post on our blog. Plus, if you’re interested in fertility resources, visit Make a Mom for some great supplements and NHS for more information on intrauterine insemination.
Search Queries:
- home insemination kit
- self insemination
- home insemination syringe
- artificial insemination techniques
- boost fertility supplements
Summary:
This article explores the author’s unapologetic approach to swearing in front of her kids, discussing the versatility of curse words and how they fit into her everyday life. While she acknowledges the need for some decorum, she also emphasizes the importance of adult language being reserved for adults. The narrative is lighthearted and engaging, presenting a relatable perspective on parenting and communication.
Leave a Reply