I realized I had a problem when I started using meditation as a chance to juggle multiple tasks. Encouraged by friends who swear by apps like Calm and Headspace, I decided to try meditation during the chaotic times of 2020, seeking to find the “center” I had lost beneath mountains of laundry, endless dishes, constant Zoom calls with my kids, my own work responsibilities, and the incessant reminders from our cat about his empty food bowl. However, as a soothing voice guided me to breathe and let my thoughts drift, I found myself simultaneously planning dinner, pondering which Netflix series to dive into next, and keeping an ear out for my kids to ensure no one was fighting or getting hurt. When the session ended, I checked “Meditate” off my mental to-do list but felt no more centered than before.
It’s a tired stereotype that mothers are always fatigued, yet I truly was. Often I was tired and happy, sometimes tired and stressed, occasionally tired and angry—but tiredness was the prevailing theme. With a baby, one could easily attribute fatigue to a lack of sleep, but my children were good sleepers, out of diapers, and capable of handling many daily tasks independently. My exhaustion at the end of each day didn’t seem to match up with my current situation.
Then it struck me: perhaps my constant tiredness stemmed from always multitasking. Most of the time, my body was engaged in one activity while my mind was occupied with another. Even during aligned tasks, like checking emails, I was rapidly shifting between messages from work, my kids’ school, friends, persistent political organizations, and more. It was no wonder I felt drained by 6 PM.
Recently, I decided to make a change and rediscovered “single-tasking.” This involves focusing on one task at a time until it’s completed—something I remember from my pre-kid days. For example, when responding to work emails, I only opened work-related emails and ignored all other notifications. More crucially, when spending time with my kids, I aimed to be fully present rather than thinking ahead about what needed to happen next.
Of course, as a parent, it’s impossible to single-task all the time—or even most of the time. Many of my attempts get interrupted. However, every time I succeed, I find that tasks are completed quicker and usually more effectively since I am fully engaged. When that “task” is quality time with my family, we all feel happier and more relaxed after focusing solely on each other. Physically, I also feel less fatigued. While the tiredness isn’t completely gone, for my mind, single-tasking acts like a power nap.
Moms often wear their multitasking abilities like a badge of honor, and rightly so, since the female brain is remarkable. However, there is a fine line between effective multitasking and pushing oneself to the brink of burnout. I got dangerously close to that line this past year, but I’m steering myself in a healthier direction, one step—and one task—at a time.
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In summary, embracing single-tasking has significantly improved my well-being, transforming the way I approach daily responsibilities and allowing me to enjoy quality time with my family. This shift has not only reduced my exhaustion but has also enhanced my overall happiness.
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