I identify as pro-choice, and I am also the mother of a 12-year-old boy, whom I’ll call Ethan, with Down syndrome. At first glance, these two aspects of my life may not seem to conflict, but the reality is stark: approximately 67% of pregnancies diagnosed with Down syndrome end in abortion. This statistic highlights a troubling trend in how society often devalues individuals like my son. Consequently, I find myself grappling with my pro-choice stance.
I firmly believe that bodily autonomy is a fundamental human right. Women should not be coerced into pregnancy, and individuals with intellectual disabilities, like Ethan, deserve to live freely and independently, unencumbered by institutionalization or forced sterilization. At this foundational level, advocating for disability rights aligns closely with supporting abortion rights. However, the pro-choice movement sometimes loses sight of bodily autonomy as the core reason for legal abortion. Frequently, discussions revolve around exceptions—like rape, maternal health, or fetal disability—which creates a conflict for me.
When I was pregnant with Ethan, he was diagnosed with a heart condition commonly associated with Down syndrome at just eight weeks. Both my partner and I were devastated not only by the heart issue but also by the implication of an intellectual disability. However, we had previously agreed that we would not consider termination. Despite our resolve, we faced pressure from medical professionals who suggested that an amniocentesis would likely lead to an abortion. Even my therapist recommended termination, citing the grim prognosis. Sadly, this narrative is all too common among parents of children with Down syndrome.
Why did we choose to continue the pregnancy? I believe in the concept of fate and that every child is uniquely suited to their family. Thankfully, we had the financial means and resources to support a child with special needs. While I recognize that abortion is a valid option, I resent the way it is often presented by medical professionals and within the pro-choice movement as a default response to a Down syndrome diagnosis. Such viewpoints stem from fear and a lack of understanding about the realities of raising a child like Ethan.
Life with my son is filled with both challenges and joys. At twelve, he is mostly nonverbal but expresses himself through emotion and humor, filling our home with laughter. Academic achievements may be tough for him, but I’ve come to appreciate personal growth over traditional metrics of success like standardized tests. His ability to find joy in everyday moments, like playing on a swing or trampoline, is truly remarkable.
Unfortunately, the most challenging part of raising Ethan is often the attitudes of others. Finding daycare that would accept him was a struggle, and schools have frequently underestimated his abilities. Children and adults alike have stared at him in public. The pro-choice movement’s framing of disability contributes to this societal bias.
What do I hope for? First, I wish pro-choice advocates would stop leveraging disability as a justification for abortion. Why is it more acceptable to discuss terminating a fetus with a Down syndrome diagnosis than simply asserting a woman’s right to control her body for any reason? Secondly, I’d like the pro-choice movement to advocate for unbiased information regarding prenatal diagnoses. When medical professionals propagate false narratives about the challenges of living with Down syndrome, they prevent women from making truly informed decisions about their pregnancies.
Women deserve access to unbiased information and should be empowered to make the best choices for themselves, free from judgment.
For further insights on this topic, check out this post about postpartum awareness on our other blog. If you’re interested in home insemination options, resources like Make a Mom provide excellent information, and WebMD offers valuable insights into pregnancy and home insemination.
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