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While navigating the complexities of a pandemic, I found myself faced with a tough decision when my son wanted to attend a New Year’s Eve celebration with his friends and girlfriend. As a mother of a 17-year-old, setting ground rules is already challenging, but the circumstances of a pandemic made it somewhat easier to say no. Naturally, I became the “bad guy” since other parents were more lenient, hoping to give their kids a chance to enjoy life after such a difficult year.
When another friend turned 18 and his parents arranged a hotel room for a get-together, I felt the pressure again after saying no. Moms from the group reached out to me, my son was upset, and his friends bombarded me with messages, trying to convince me it would be fine.
I was the one who noticed when my son had symptoms like an itchy throat and runny nose before Christmas, promptly taking him for a test. When my children expressed their desire to return to school after a half-year of remote learning, they turned to me to advocate for them. Just last week, I lost my cool after refusing my daughter’s request to attend a slumber party. I felt terrible saying no; these kids have faced so much already, yet I knew a slumber party could quickly become a super spreader event, especially with teenagers involved. Memories of sneaking out or inviting friends over flooded my mind, making the decision even harder.
While my daughter understood my reasoning, the day of the party arrived, and the father of the host called me to discuss my decision. He argued for ten minutes, assuring me they were being cautious and asking me to reconsider. It’s always me who has to prioritize our family’s health and face the backlash.
This scenario is not new; even in pre-pandemic times, I was the one who noticed when the kids needed medical attention or who organized their social lives. I was the one they came to when they wanted a friend over, and I was the one who fulfilled the role of a driving service. When we run low on groceries, it’s always me they approach.
A year ago, as each decision seemed to carry life-or-death weight, the responsibility fell heavily on us moms to approve or deny nearly every choice our family faced. This overwhelming burden has made the past year one of the most exhausting periods of my life. It’s disheartening that we often bear the weight of these decisions alone.
Some partners and ex-partners might say it’s because we handle it better, but I reject that notion. Constantly being the one to worry about everything—from denying our children’s requests to weighing the risks of non-COVID-related doctor visits—can feel paralyzing. When the responsibility shifts to us, we transform into protective figures that kids might see as fun-suckers. While we lie awake at night, our minds race with thoughts of how to navigate this chaos, the toll it takes is immense.
I’ve never experienced such profound exhaustion in my life.
For further insights on topics related to family planning and home insemination, check out this blog post about congenital conditions and see Make a Mom’s guide for essential information on artificial insemination kits. Additionally, this resource on IVF is invaluable for anyone considering pregnancy options.
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In summary, the pandemic has placed an extraordinary burden on mothers, demanding that we balance the safety and well-being of our families with the desire for normalcy. This relentless responsibility can lead to exhaustion and feelings of isolation as we navigate these challenging choices alone.
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