If You're Feeling Less Than Sexy, Here’s How to Rekindle Your Spark

Ah, the challenges of life during a pandemic. With leggings and sweatshirts becoming the norm, hair in a constant state of disarray, and days without a shower, it’s easy to feel like a total mess—without the “total” part. The sensation of feeling sexy may seem like a fading memory, leaving you wondering if it’s possible to regain that alluring feeling. The silver lining? You’re not alone, and you can certainly reclaim your confidence.

The stress of juggling motherhood, remote learning, job responsibilities, and just getting through each day can be utterly draining. With so much on your plate, switching gears from a weary, overworked parent to a sultry goddess feels nearly impossible. To make matters worse, you might find it hard to muster the desire for intimacy.

It’s common to have off days, but when those days stretch into weeks, it can feel overwhelming. The lack of variety in your routine, a more sedentary lifestyle, and being in close quarters with your partner constantly can all contribute to the waning of your sexy feelings. You may find yourself reminiscing about the days when you could look in the mirror and love the reflection staring back at you.

It’s worth noting that women’s libidos and feelings of sensuality can fluctuate due to everyday life factors like fatigue, lifestyle changes, stress, and disconnection from your partner. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has conducted various studies that reveal how the COVID-19 pandemic has affected people’s intimate lives. They found that individuals reporting higher stress, feelings of isolation, or disconnection also experienced a decline in their sexual satisfaction. In fact, 24% of married couples mentioned having less frequent sex since the pandemic began, while 17% of women reported a drop in both sexual and emotional satisfaction.

In simpler terms, what you’re feeling is completely normal. The sexy side of you is still there; you just might need to put in a bit of effort to uncover it again. And remember, you’re not obligated to feel sexy if you don’t. However, if you’re eager to get that spark back, here are some effective strategies.

Refresh Your Wardrobe

Swap out your sweats for outfits that make you feel attractive. You don’t need to go all out—consider a comfy maxi dress or a luxurious pajama set. Sometimes, looking good on the outside can boost how you feel on the inside.

Upgrade Your Undergarments

Say goodbye to those old, comfortable underwear that have seen better days. If your period panties have become your go-to, it’s time for a change. Invest in some lovely lingerie that feels good against your skin.

Indulge in Some Romance

Dive into a steamy romance novel or binge-watch a sultry show. This can be a fun escape from your daily routine and may help reignite your senses. For added fun, invite your partner to read or watch with you after the kids are asleep.

Move Your Body

I know, exercise isn’t everyone’s idea of fun. But it’s a powerful tool for releasing endorphins, which can boost your libido and help you reconnect with your body. Plus, it can improve your energy levels and lead to better sleep.

Take a Break

If home has become a source of stress, consider a getaway. Whether it’s a night at a hotel or a local Airbnb, a change of scenery might be just what you need to refresh your mojo.

Schedule Intimacy

With kids constantly around and life in chaos, finding time for intimacy may feel impossible. While planning sex may not sound romantic, it can create the opportunity for connection. It may feel awkward at first, but once you get into the rhythm, you can relax and enjoy.

Practice Relaxation

In today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy to move from dawn to dusk in a state of stress. Make it a priority to carve out time for deep breathing and relaxation. You might find your mood lightening and your shoulders dropping, making it easier to feel sexy.

Avoid Comparisons

Everyone has their own definition of sexy. It’s not fair to judge your feelings against someone else’s standards. Instead, focus on your own sense of sensuality and what made you feel good before the pandemic.

Prioritize Sleep

Lack of sleep can significantly impact your libido and hormone balance. A good night’s rest can enhance your mood and energy levels, which are essential for feeling sexy.

Disconnect from Devices

Your phone can be a significant distraction. Consider unplugging for a while to connect more with yourself and your partner. Leave the phone out of the bedroom to create space for intimacy.

Explore Self-Pleasure

There’s nothing wrong with taking time for yourself. Whether you use a toy or simply enjoy some quiet time to yourself, focus on what feels good for you.

Ultimately, it’s important to recognize that feeling sexy may not be your priority right now. Your focus might need to be on maintaining your mental and physical well-being amid the challenges you face. And that’s perfectly okay.

For more insights on related topics, check out this article on home insemination or learn about your fertility journey. For excellent resources, visit ASRM for information on pregnancy and home insemination.

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In summary, the journey to feeling sexy again during challenging times can be navigated with patience and intention. By focusing on self-care, intimacy, and personal preferences, you can find your way back to that confident, alluring version of yourself at your own pace.